So pick me, chose me, love me.

2007-05-07T16:07:00.000+08:00

NOTE: HEY. I'VE MOVED. www.sweetcharades.blogspot.com

it is amazing, fascinating, and slightly amusing really, that some of us can get so interested in any one thing and not conduct a thorough investigation for ourselves. after all, what are we but beings with too much curiousity for our own good? we care, because we affect one another in slight but inconceivable and extraordinary ways.

i say, if caring was beneath you, then don't bother involving yourself in the first place. self delusion, i think. or perhaps, just a totally different way of going about things.

above all, i find it highly, highly ironic.

after so many months later, i finally made my first appearance in that territory with someone who ( proudly) almost owns it, and what happens?

ah, but if it was just a harmless passing thing, i shall hold my peace.

right. so these few days are down to me and my sweet. oh and my five books (now down to three) and my maroon nail polish and driving and the constant browbeating of a 16 year old. plus honing the arduous skill of staying out of boredom, and keeping my sanity.

you're my bestest friend.

2007-05-02T23:30:00.000+08:00

a girl should never have a bad day, a painfully boring day and another bad day altogether at one go. instead, she should have more good days. like today.(: and she should enjoy more good weather. like today. yay!:D

i wonder when did i stop having fun and enjoy making a fool out of myself. yes i know i do do stupid things every now and then (although more nows than thens) but its not the same and i don't play like i used to. maybe its the pressure of growing up, maybe its the pressure of watching others grow up. maybe its the weather. (okay its always the weather.) maybe its just the mindless passing of days, watching yourself fade away. or maybe, its just you, or rather, the lack thereof.

that's why i so love being with you.(:

2007-04-30T14:19:00.000+08:00

i want to have my hair cut. i NEED to have my hair cut cut cut cut cut.

okay driving time.

2007-04-29T23:10:00.000+08:00

i must confess that i'm a brown paper freak. i so love brown paper; brown paper bags, brown paper envelopes and brown whatnots. brown paper leaves an impression on me.

so having said that, you must know that i totally love NUS because its envelope is so so so much more beautiful than the NTU one. (heh sorry but i only have these two to compare.)

sheesh. talk about underhand methods. they're trying to win brownpaperfreaks over with brown paper. haha! *kisses the NUS envelope*

--

vas and pris won the dance floor competition. yay i like vas and pris.(:

--

life these few days is gonna be all about laptops. i shall not wait for the next IT fair. wahaha.

okay i'm outta here.

i hope i get my laptop real soon! haha. :D

BYE!

2007-04-26T19:33:00.000+08:00

i knew it wasn't on purpose and its most probably one of the mindless things you do, but it hit home.

damn, but it hurts when some ppl who are supposed to know you don't. worse, they put you under stereotypes. even worse, i'm classified under the air-headed, rich, wimpy, bubblegum pink, all hearts and flowers, sugar-daddy-hunting, money-lovin', money hunting, and, i hate to say this,stupid category. it stinks, and before you join forces with this certain person and say aye, i shall let you know that no, i do not own a single pair of designer sunglasses the only pair i own is the eight or six dollar pair i bought in hongkong, and its fake. i do not own clothes costing above 70 bucks except for the two prom dresses i have. i have no Gucci, Chanel, Armani, Prada, and, i don't know, true religion? hanging in my closet. i do not own all the accessories there are to own in the world. i do not live and die for money, and i am not stupid. ( fine i see you throwing my results in my face but i do have some smarts okay.) but why am i even saying this? i already come with a label in your head.

deep down inside, you belittle me and look at me with disdain. don't ask me how i know. it takes one to know one. (yes i speak of your one thousand and one faults, but because i know that's just the way you are, i don't put (my) words into your mouth, unlike you.)

--

i can't believe i'm actually trying to prove myself and being so childish via blog, but you bet this is the last time i'm going to do this.

YOU. i had enough, god dammit. you stop thinking and believing and treating me like i'm a freaking. walking. Paragon.

2007-04-25T12:45:00.000+08:00

after a two year's hiatus, it has come back to haunt me, this blind man's game. i never did like playing it, even when i was young. i'm wary, i'm exhausted, and i'm tired of having to do these things alone. its closing in, getting claustrophobic. plans laid out and discussed, plans for the future, plans that were supposed to work out are all bull now, and i'm on the verge of panic. ha who am i kidding. panic is well on its way to full-blown terror.

but i suppose life will have it no other way, huh. some things are just meant to be done alone.

--

there's this ntu biz thing this sun, and i know no one else who is going. argh. why does ntu have to be situated at some far, godforsaken place its furthur than my aunt's place and i have not visited her since sec two because she stays in freaking jurong. arghh this is stupid stupid stupid.

heh. life's a hoot.

2007-04-25T02:44:00.000+08:00

finally, a practical test date.(:

2007-04-22T00:25:00.000+08:00

this is going to be a trashy post. i'm riled up, forgive me.

a weird day. today was one of those times when you get out of bed not feeling yourself and the day starts off too fast for you to catch up. its like travelling at 15km/h in fourth gear. and then when you feel that you could bum along quietly for at least the next say, 15 hours, the day takes a turn for the worse. before you attempt suicide (or in my case kick the national library's door), it suddenly becomes good, or maybe as good as it can get, since there's no way i'm gonna be secured a place in nus law. its all the weirder when my day mainly revolves around one issue. one main issue. one big main issue.

so anyway, i got out of bed in a somewhat weird mood, cos i have auto self-psycho-ing mechanism that kicks in full gear when i wake up grouchy. the day began dipping during breakfast, when mummy announced that nus law is a goner and qixin called and said the fac only entertains three As. right. so byebye nus law, now and forever. forgive me if i'm abit bitter abt it, but they cheated me, those cuckoos. (i was under the impression that gp grades were more impt.) ah well. give me some time. i'm grieving. hehheh.

alrights moving on. i made the huge error of donning jeans and was late for my trial test. yay i didn't fail any papers, so it was good. i was practically starving when it ended, and the aunty at the cdc cafeteria refused to sell me fish fillet. sigh. after that it was parkway and a good and sinful lunch. hiked about abit (my heels made me feel like i was hiking. i'm in a freaking desperate need of new, comfortable and breath-able heels) under the stupid sun. i was melting when i reached the bus stop. napped and watched abit of spiderman after that, before taking cab with wei to smu for his interview. i was supposed to go to the national library in the meantime but guess what. i got lost and after trekking all the way to the nanyang academy of fine arts and back to smu twice and working up a rage, i found my way to ps in the vile, vile, vile weather. great. i almost froze (it must be the result of being ard guys a guy too much. i almost typed 'my balls off'. haha!) to death in ps.

well the good thing is, i did get to the national library, by train and after a mos shake and a croquette. and. i borrowed the max number of books my card allowed me to. ahh. book therapy. oh. in my delight i forgot to kick the library's door, but ah well. i can always do it the next time. haha.

right. after reaching home i found out that ntu sent me a letter, and so marks the start of the grueling debate of ntu biz vs nus biz (if nus takes pity on me and gives me my second choice, that is.) sheesh. but a relief, anyway. i thought ntu biz required an interview. but anyhows, there's back up now! yay! haha.(: who cares about nus law, anyway. bahh.

okay phew. its all out. alrights i'm off to read. BYE.(:

2007-04-19T13:05:00.000+08:00

my grades aren't that bad. right? er. right.

there's always nus biz. right.

so i should stop being so paranoid and just shut up, right? yea damn right, and about time too.

--

after too many rights, Right is starting to look funny. what is r-i-g-h-t, anyway. letters placed together. i would say random letters placed together, but etymologists armed with historical texts would come knocking on my door and then render me unconscious with a thick dictionary. hehh.

now you look at me (or the screen) funny, but maybe only those who find the word 'sad' sad, who feel like weeping (silently) and wailing (loudly) together with the respective words, and who do not keep (or increase) their distance from me when i tell them 3,5,7 are decidedly male numbers and 2,4,8 are female numbers would understand.

the results of slacking at home.

the 5th.(:

2007-04-17T14:22:00.000+08:00

tkband got silver for this year's syf. strangely there wasn't sadness. a pinch of disappointment, more of gladness, and mostly there was something edging the boundaries of pity. it really is a pity that they weren't able to be able to defend the title of being a gold band, both indoor and outdoor. that's 2 years of indoor golds they let down. there wasn't much disappointment, cos maybe deep down i've already expected it and knew they were not going to make it. ah, conceit. heh. it really is a good thing they fell short this time. at least maybe now they'll buck up and start fighting to stay at the top. all i hope for is that they don't fall short of their outdoor standards too. if they do, the band that gets the best display band's going take along with them the 6 years (or more) of tkband best display band glory. ah, woe.

that aside, i met a few tkband ppl in parkway on sat. the used-to-be-sec-1s. linda, cheryl, cherie, yexi and a few other ppl i only recognise by sight. its good to see the juniors and it was really quite gratifying to know that i'm remembered, as well as the time i took them for drills at the side of the field. those were the times, huh. man.

on a lighter note, i finally went swimming on sat! okay maybe it was more of splashing around, but no matter. i love the water.((:

driving is becoming more fun. and yes i finally went on the road yesterday.(: driving at a faster speed really is easier than driving slow and in the circuit. oh heh and this reminded me of the driving lesson on sat when i was overtaking a car in the circuit. in all my haste and excitement, i -haha- swapped the windscreen wiper for the left signal. and furthermore this happened in the face of an oncoming car. gosh. and. i was laughing so hard my instructor had to steer the wheels for me, meaning when i was back in course the windscreen wiper was still wiping furiously away. man how embarrassing is that. but then, it was such a priceless moment. haha!

alrights enough of stupid and embarrassing moments (of which somehow are on the rise these few days, featuring yours truly).i shall go study my final theory handbook. trial test tmr!

--

here's to you.
thank you for standing by me and being there for me when i needed you most. thank you for understanding me, and knowing me better than i know myself.

"Love is just an abbreviation for everything we have ever wanted to say about that one person who truly means something to us, all wrapped up in a tiny four-letter box."

i love this. thank you for all that you've given me and shown me. i wouldn't trade these 5 months for anything else in the world. love!(:

--

yay its raining! i love rainy weather when i'm at home. haha. okay bye!(:

2007-04-13T13:43:00.000+08:00

its raining and i'm at home, with my windows wide open.

:))

2007-04-11T17:19:00.000+08:00

heh i had to post the 10 things before pulls another disappearing act on me.

so this is how not working on a weekday feels like. its woohoo! i get to finish reading a book, laze around in bed the whole day, eat instant noodles for lunch (luxury k. i love instant noodles), paint my toenails. and, i'm finally using the computer at home, after goodness knows how long. and the best part is that i'm finally free from having to look and listen to the laughter cackle from the respondent's witness. he's really so slick and oily and together with his balding head and pot belly he could fry all the dough in old chang kee. sheesh. talk about unsavory man.

okay i'm hungry. i'm off to find food. shall continue later. or maybe not. hehheh. k bye!

2007-04-11T16:41:00.000+08:00

okay i did this yesterday but somehow it disappeared before i could even post it. sheesh. so here's another one.

You've been tagged....
Rule of the game:-Each player of this game starts off with 10 weird things or habits or little known facts about yourself. People who get tagged must write in a blog of their own 10 weird things or habits or little known facts as well as state this rule clearly. At the end you must choose 6 people to be tagged and list their names. No tagbacks!

1) alrights i don't know of this is wierd but i bounce on my seat when i'm happy or excited. a colleague caught me doing that back in the bank when they finally gave the go-ahead to dig into the buffet spread in the pantry. her look was priceless. haha. but at that point of time it was quite embarrassing. heh.

2) hm don't know why, but the blood in my face goes into overdrive every time. i blush very easily, even on non-blushable occasions. ohoh this was on the tv in the lift in Repulic Plaza. is appears that every time you blush, your stomach lining goes red as well. wahaha betcha didn't know that.(:

3) i love my bolster so much i talk to it and can't sleep without it. oh i love playing with the knots on the string on the bolster case too. hehheh. oh man i miss my bolster.

4) wei says that when i'm angry, i tend to be more articulate when i blog.

5) i took ballet lessons up to grade one when i was young, and i loved it. i was the captain during the exam and i still keep my little tutu and scarf. haha!

6) since i'm on the topic of dancing, i shall discolse the fact that i've always wanted to learn to dance, since sec3. the only thing stopping me is that i can't find a partner.
(wei this is a hint. haha!)

7) despite all, i have not been running or doing any exercise since my last attempt er last month. i'm such a pig. ah but it has been raining during the past few days, right. hehheh.

8) hm i suspect that i'm a bit of an elitist. oops. but then when you think about it, who isn't. okayokay but i'm not making any excuses for myself. hee.

9) i can be very bitchy. when i start, i don't stop. and the more the number of people bitching, the merrier i become. hehhehheh. but then most people know this already, non?

10) okay i'll like to address this one to the people of vjc 05S43. you guys allowed me to integrate and become a part of the class even though i'm a second intaker and gave me some really good two years. you all changed my life, in ways that perhaps only i know how. but whatever it is, i'll like to make it known that i'm really thankful for such wonderful classmates and friends. love you all.(:
oh and somehow i can't seem to find any fun in bridging anymore. must be the company. sheesh!

alrighty all 10 done.yay!(:

2007-04-09T13:28:00.000+08:00

the bbq was good, and i think the chocolate fondue idea was brilliant. well, that is if it was more visible and not placed in a small corner. still, it was good, seeing how some people had changed and grown and matured.

its weird, the inconsistancies one can find in a person. really, you cannot judge one by how one appears. one's manner of speech is important, and the way one carries oneself. especially the way one carries oneself.

in truth, i've never felt so relieved and glad at the, uh, turn of events.

i say go, with my (ears') blessings.

hm.

it never fails to constantly amaze me, how we are totally worlds apart.

huh. maybe its time to do some soul searching.

-we're travelling on skewed parallel lines, i think, for now and for all eternity.

2007-04-04T13:24:00.000+08:00

hm i really think army influences ppl. esp the way they speak, sounding like some chaogeng. i don't know if its only me, but somehow it seems as though they can only speak 5 words or less at one go. it was really amusing. hehhehheh.

the dinner at Flutes was good. yay creme brulee! haha. i'm proud of myself.(:

have i told you i love watching the two of you together? haha. you guys are soo cute, esp yang. hahaha!

:D!

2007-04-02T13:41:00.000+08:00

the respondent's lawyer's getting very irrtating. but the only thing that pushes me to go on with this whole thing is, as Ariffin so succinctly puts it, the "sheer novelty" of it all. ah but maybe i should tone down my want-it-all attitude before i get into some serious trouble. sheesh.

on a side note, i really really like being distracted. haha!:D

alrights. back to the hearing. bye!

2007-03-28T14:01:00.000+08:00

i MUST find myself back and get back on my feet again. i want to..

strut down Life's catwalk.

meow. haha.

--

the hearing's getting interesting. very interesting. yay i likee.(:

hm i might stay for another week. not sure if i'm getting my money's worth, though. (esp when there's no money to talk about heh.) gotta think about it.

--

celebrated joan's and qixin's birthdays yesterday. anyhows, i like eating the korean thing thing in the hot stone pot. so nice! haha. yesterday's food reminded me of vjcsb's trip to korea, and oh boy, the memories. its amazing how in only a short one year i've experienced and done so much more things then i have ever done in my other 17 (18?) years combined.

i still hold the view that the Korean Air landing in Hawaii/Korea/Singapore (uh i can't rmb) was the worse landing i've ever experienced.

and even though we spent less than a day in korea, that day, till today, seemed like weeks. it really the longest day ever, and i'm still amazed by that fact. haha.

alrighty. off to run an errand and hopefully i'll be able to make it back in time for the cross-examination before they call it a day. *inserts the dancing banana*

haha okay i dunno where the banana came from but i'm somehow reminded of it. haha!

byee!

-light travels faster than sound.

so some people appear smart until they speak.

2007-03-23T10:50:00.000+08:00

i'm freezing.

i'm sorry if this is a rubbish post, but i've got to do something to keep my fingers from stiffening up. gosh the temp here is like subzero.

i feel it. the spark within me has just left and gone. i hate it, hate feeling so lifeless, it feels like a part of me has died. even worse, i think i'm still blaming myself. sheesh.

note to self: get over it, girl. there's so much more to life than this.

-and so begins the long, tedious search for that spark.

2007-03-21T23:27:00.000+08:00

internship at the law firm has been both interesting and boring. basically it has just been all about sitting in at every meeting with the experts, witness and yada yada and copying stuff down. but still it is interesting, despite me having enough free time to actually finish reading a book today.

oh yes the errands. i really kinda like running errands. cos then i get to take my own sweet time haha. anyhoos today i went to buy dimsum for the team at around 3pm (bill charged to client, of course) and on the way back i was accosted by three different people, of one whom i donated 5 bucks to (ouch. i really only meant to give 2! okay maybe 3, but sadly i had no small change. heh no wonder people keep telling me, change is good.) and the other two tried to tempt me into getting a prudential account thingy and an oub (or is it uob?) lady's card. but anyway that's not the point. the point is that i'm insulted they assumed i'm 21. heh not even close, man. i'm still having trouble remembering that i'm 18 okay. i keep on thinking i'm 17. its in the same way that i keep thinking 2007 was last year and act its somewhat annoying, really.

on the train back today i saw this guy in army uniform and i'm reminded the police guys will be having their Passing Out Parade soon, in which mine, along with some 800? other guys will ceremoniously uh pass out to mark the end of their BMT. haha!

anyhows, its time for me to scrimp and save as i foresee myself working again only in may.):

2007-03-16T10:46:00.000+08:00

a charmed life. its like a dream. sometimes when its just too good to be true, you find yourself on the edge and hovering on the verge of flight, preparing yourself for the event when the bar comes crashing down or for the bottom of your world to drop out, all in order to make way for the Real Life.

for now, its bye to the bank and hello to internship and the tuna melt to celebrate. teehee i suspect celebration is just an excuse to indulge. uh there's not much to celebrate anyway. right?

hm. is everyone holding bbqs and stayovers all of a sudden or is it just me?

--

to the hospital on saturday. okay i'm still not over the shock yet. sheesh. i think everyone walking to the driving centre stopped and stared. but then that might be due to the fact that i stood in the middle of the pavement and was blocking the way.

interesting how human reflexes work.

i think that was the loudest "what" i've ever uttered; even the "what" when ms rajan told me i had a1 for gp seconded that.

and that word was all that came out, when what i really wanted to say was, what the freak did you mean by burnt.

2007-03-12T11:58:00.000+08:00

first choices, then changes, then choices again. stupid vicious cycle. i'm procrastinating the submission of the nus online application form. everything somehow seems a tad too easy its scary, no?

--

you scratched everywhere but the itch spot. a tease.

2007-03-07T15:03:00.000+08:00

i was just told that i was "very lucky to be able to go to university."

well my dear, the straight As students in rj might be crying like crazy over their S papers k. pride, you know.

by the way, being able to get into university (and hopefully the course i want) has nothing to do with luck but everything to do with sheer hard work and determination (plus a little streak of genius and smarts, for the people who have it in spades ie. jasontan) okay, you stupid old coot.

urgh.

and tell me what's wrong with doing law.

2007-03-03T22:03:00.000+08:00

sometimes you lose yourself in life, forgetting about everything else but Now. you only notice the strands tied to you when they start pulling.

--

i freaking could have what i wanted.

yea i've learnt.

there's the missing sense of satisfaction, of achievement. and then there's disappointment, cos apparently i didn't want it bad enough.

maybe i should start believing in myself.

-i dearly want peace.

2007-03-02T10:42:00.000+08:00

so here i am in the office, trying to instill some form of normalcy (haha ya. blogging during work is normal, too.) in the hopes that i wouldn't be plunged into the roller coaster ride of emotions which would most proly happen if i stay at home/go to school and allow my nervousness and anxiety to stew.

whatever happens, i've got to remind myself that i've got my BTT to sit for tonight.

and whatever happens, i've got to remember that i've got to accept, that i've only got myself to blame.

holy crap.

-its all down to me and my fate mistakes now.

2007-03-01T12:41:00.000+08:00

i'm suddenly reminded of how it felt to be part of tkband again. its true, we love tkband and are proud to be part of it. the one for all, all for one spirit is the kind of thing that we come across and experience only once in a lifetime. (maybe in ns too, but that's isn't for me to say.)

what usually escapes being rmbered is the heaviness that weighs down upon hearing tchow call "band fall in" after section lunches, the drudgery we trudge through when we assemble in the parade square. the weird unsettling feeling when we rush into the field, desperately scraping up whatever we have inside us to project a certain eagerness and trying to pretend that as seniors, we are not obliged/ordered to perform this attitude transplant on ourselves.

we come up with stupid things like having competitions between the flutes, the saxes, the clarinets (and whoever that happens to be at the field) to see who reaches the back of the field and gets into block position first. not forgetting the competition to see which section gives the loudest timing/ shouts the loudest when falling out, all for the sake of hoping that our brain accepts the transplant.

the sun the sweat the sunburns the rawness the aches the dragonflies the dirt the ever-rising tempers. the tears that come from stinging sunblock, dripping sweat, frustration at being unjustly yelled at, frustration at being unjustly punished, foul moods, un-vent anger, and combinations of all.

there was little or no subtlety - a distinctive difference between outdoor and indoor.

--

i've found out recently, to my disgust, that my memory is selective. so anyway i try to impress the times on my memory, (it just wouldn't stay) hoping that i'm able to get a faint inkling of how it is like, so that i can better understand. so that i can empathize and so that when i say "yeah i know" or when i say "hm oh i think i know what you mean", you know i know what i'm you're talking about.

-if only you'd let me, i'll be your summer rain.

2007-02-28T09:28:00.000+08:00

i'm living the american dream.

'power! zap!' (okay sadly that's all i rmb from The Glass Menagerie. sheesh.)

but anyway, the whole era where anything and everything is possible, where science is the new religion, technology is spelt with a capital T and time travel not as distant a possibility. ( act i dunno. they may have already invented the teleporter now for all i know. haha. okay i digress. i think The Illusionist is an interesting watch. some pretty cool stuff.) i'm living one year ahead of time, resulting in me pulling out 50 something files, under the impression that the loans are going to expire soon. took me quite some time (and some effort, having to put back the files) to realise that 2008 is in, uh, 10 months time. no wonder my supervisor gave me the blank look and kept repeating "don't need".

first its 2006, then its 2008. what's wrong with 2007? the release of A level results is what's wrong, alright. i'm thoroughly amazed at the extent my brain goes to to omit undesirable events.

and the A level results? not unlike the american dream, where the case of nerves, anticipation and just the right amount of Lost and Uncertainty proclaims that anything is possible.

urgh.

2007-02-26T17:49:00.000+08:00

some people make their already complicated life even more complicated to appease their need for control, and for that satisfying sense of accomplishment.

how often have you caught yourself adding small insignificant things to do in your to-do list, just so that you can strike it off and say that you've done it? how often have you found yourself adding something that has already been done to your to-do list and striking it out for that immediate gratification?

its all boils down to relativity.

and some major self delusion.

people live on the fringes of life searching for a space with the most breathing pockets (read space for self delusion), and this space, they call it their own. sort of like a personal panic room, no?

self delude, but in moderation.

reminder to self: eh you. you do that too.

huh.

some people never change.

act people don't change. they modify, which is change, in moderation.

haha okay i'm sounding sick in the head now, so i shall stop.

but still, some people never change. they just appear in different degrees of manifestations of themselves.

-thank God for archives.

2007-02-21T18:22:00.000+08:00

i don't know how you do it but it happens everytime. i get completely wrapped up in myself, but when you provide me with an opportunity to wallow in self pity, to whine and to complain, i'm somehow reminded that there are other people out there and they too, mind. there'll always be this internal argument (its more of reasoning, really.) within me whenever you ask, "tough day?", (not unlike our spoken 'arguments' whenever i hit one of my numerous patches of indecisiveness. [i get so amused whenever i think about them.]) and i realise that things aren't so bad, so larger than life after all.

i don't know how you do it, but you always manage soothe my ruffled feathers by doing almost nothing at all.

or perhaps, caring isn't 'just' caring, like what everyone always says, and it definitely ain't simple, cos maybe -- for i know nothing can be an everything, but just maybe, caring, in some cases, is almost everything.

-but still, i say, wow.

2007-02-16T15:08:00.000+08:00

i think i'm still stuck in 2006. i keep on writing the dates wrongly. i feel so comfortable with 2006, i get surprised when a 2007 pops up. i think, 'oh that's next year', then i remember that this is 2007.

i have selective memory, or perhaps i just need to clear away some of my memory daily. so anyway, last sat, 2pm. i was taking the train to orchard. well. i havent been taking trains on weekend afternoons, so it has been quite a while since i saw the 'younger crowd'. it was quite a refreshing experience. don't get me wrong. they were annoying, alright, but just the right amount of annoying-ness you would expect from them, so you forgive them. and anyway, they were keeping me amused throughout the whole trip. the vibes i got from them were so strong, and they fall roughly into 6 categories as follows:

the huh what. i've got the whole world under my feet, so don't come bother me.
the i'm oozing coolness naturally -- believe it! (usually found listening to their mp3, hand(s) jammed in the pockets of their jeans.)
the i like, totally fit in; i'm mr/miss popular, everyone wants to be my friend
the yer know, i don't really care whatcha think, cos i think i'm way cool (ie. you're not) so eat your heart out. (note: do not confuse with category 1)
the miii-andd-euuu-friendx-forevazzz-mauckxx, which also falls in with the i-lurbbe-twinxx-and-SHE-theyy-ishh-sho-kool-theyy-r[a]wkzz-maii-lyf. (they're easilty identified by their trademark, hair at both sides of their head they so conveniently forget to tie up together with the rest.)
and lastly, various combinations of the above.

haha. amusing, especially when you once fallen into one (or more) of those catagories. strangely, it was endearing too.

last evening in the train saw a group of dhs students, and suddenly, i miss the secondary school times, when no one really bothered about studies. (okay at least i didn't. well. not that much, even if i did bother.) i didn't realise it, but now, coming to think of it, i'm pretty sure the heck-care, laid back attitude belongs, exclusively, to secondary school.

and this came as a shock to me (really!), but i actually miss it.

gosh.

2007-02-14T16:10:00.000+08:00

people must think i'm crazy.

i walk and smile to myself. i eat and smile to myself. i work and smile to myself too.

ah what the hell. eh you! yea you.(: thank you for the delivery.*BIGGHUGS.((:

to qixin, joan, peifang, louisa, the Women and all other loved ones: i love you people too. happy valentine's! *hugg.(:

2007-02-11T15:19:00.000+08:00

my ears were nearly blasted out of my skull on friday night. my brains too, for that matter, all thanks to uber loud noise that's supposed to be called music and the throbbing headache that resulted from it. there are even people applauding, what the freak (said in THE tone, if you please. haha). really. i bet these people have never heard of jazz and bossa nova. there's nothing like a little chuck mangione (and dammit he's good), i tell you. i'm not sorry about the funny faces i made. it was antagonizing and i don't really fancy getting my ears assulted for four straight hours, so there. heh.

anyhows i traded three late nights, sleep, books, a fraction of my pay and look what i've got. a pretty pretty handmade pillow. the stiches around the squares reminds me of baby blankets.(: it was all worth it, and i'm really quite surprised at what i can do, given the time and capital. boy am i proud of myself. haha. didn't have time to take a picture of the pillow cos i only managed to finish the pillow just half an hour before i'm supposed to pass it to its recipient. bahh. i want a picture of the pillow!

oh yes and the muffins too, although i think the choc chip muffins are abit taxing on the teeth due to the wrong type of flour. but oh wells!(:

the illusionist was not too bad. the tricks and images conjured up were really quite cool. and we met people. well. john and daniel didn't look too bad botak la. haha.

oh the sore throat is back. again. sick(ening).

okay fine the main reason why i'm blogging is because i'm bored out of my brains. (yes i did manage to keep my brains in my head on friday night. applaud me please.) alrights i'm going off to do something more productive, like painting my toenails. bye!

--

-"Politics gives guys so much power that they tend to behave badly around women. And I hope I never get into that."

- Bill Clinton

-"...more and more of our imports are coming from overseas."

-George W. Bush

-"Please do not feed the animals. If you have any suitable food, give it to the guard on duty."

- Sign in Budapest Zoo

-"Whenever I watch TV and I see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can't help but cry. I mean I would love to be skinny like that, but not with all those flies and death and stuff."

- Mariah Carey

-"Sure there have been injuries and deaths in boxing - but none of them serious."

- Alan Minter, Boxer

-"Cars will not have Intercourse on this Bridge."

-Tokyo, Japan traffic sign

wth. hahaha.

2007-02-07T16:14:00.000+08:00

a sultry saturday evening. lampshades, cushy swirl chairs, wine, gin, tequila, and luxurious, luxurious red. bold and intimate, a fantasy dressing room. artful cheorography with naked female beauty and sass gives a combination that tantalizes the senses. masters, or rather, mistresses of illusion.

the only catch: mosquitoes.

so it was to zuoyi's place on sunday evening. imagine. six months down the road we won't be waiting for buses which never seem to arrive when we want them to. instead we'll be crowding zuoyi's street and vying for space to park our cars. gosh. anyhows, maybe there's hope yet for singapore football. hm.

tuesday night was spent on looking at flour, vinegar, appplesauce, and baking trays. ( and no, "baking trays" isn't on the same page as "stirring in a tablespoon". haha.)

in the meantime, i'm getting in touch with my feminine self. haha. nightime is playtime.

2007-02-01T15:04:00.000+08:00

MAS thinks that Angola isn't a country. well, wikipedia says that, quote, Angola is a country, unquote. the freaking drop down list of countries does not have Angola in it and it doesn't have an others option.

the MAS deadline is today, by 5pm. the RMs still have yet to pass me the appraisal notes for 20 of the borrowers.

hmm.

%&*!^#&!!*&&^!!!#*&$%#!!!!&%&**^@!!!!!

arghh.

--

i always wonder if you have ever stumbled upon this page, intentionally or unintentionally. what would you think of it? or rather, more to the point, what would you think of me? sometimes i walk around, hoping to just catch a glimpse of you, and i wonder if this works both ways, or is it just me.

i see myself in you. well. there are some parts of me in you, apparently.

preconceived ideas, i think, are the most interesting. you'll never know what to expect. yes?

2007-01-31T14:02:00.000+08:00

work, dinner, the phone, sleep. books whenever i can squeeze time in. life is a routine these few days.

okay this isnt the point of this post. i just need to think about something else to distract myself.

being a kaypo was never ever good, yes? so we should not give in to temptation. some things are better left as they are, untouched and unknown.

curiousity is said to have killed the cat.

my brain prefers to believe that not getting answers to his question was what that got the cat into trouble.

arghh resist resist resist. i shall resist. i shall not do anything. back to work and the top 100 borrowers cross checking part II.

hahaha i feel like sending out a advertisement for employment. mr hyde, anyone?

2007-01-29T09:22:00.000+08:00

despite much precaution and sweat and effort and all, it still happened. after three weeks, i'm late for work. okay. i don't know if i should be proud of this but three weeks is 15 working days k. hmph. but i was late for 14 minutes and noone said anything. hmmmmm.......

hehhehhehheh.

enough of tempting thoughts, mehhehhehheh. *sneaky grin*. toookies. would like to mention that i bumped into jason last thursday. actually, more like walked towards him. haha. same old, same old. so anyway. meeting him for lunch today, just like how i met daddy for lunch on friday. man. lunches are getting interesting. i like the thought of having a lunch appointment. ooooh how exciting!((: hahaha.

oh oh dinners are exciting too wahaha. jap food, german food, mexican food and border's cafe. ah yes. and ruiqi! when are we meeting for dinner?(:

right. back to the top 100 borrowers part II.

- oh, my mountain resort holiday.(:

2007-01-24T15:40:00.000+08:00

Woohoo! raise in pay, babeh, raise in pay! although $6.50/hr is not much difference and i sorta requested for the increase, it sure feels good knowing that you are praised, esp from unexpected people. now that i didn't ask for. but i'm not that i'm complaining in any way. they can praise all they want. haha!

YESS.((:

2007-01-24T11:10:00.000+08:00

i'm back on the positively (negatively?) disgusting cough mixture again, and its making me uber drowsy. took its last night before bed and was still feeling drugged when i woke up this morn. gosh.

sleep's calling out to me again but i shouldn't and wouldn't succumb, unless i want sleep on the job (literally) and get file cuts all over my forehead. which are freaking painful. they're worse than paper cuts, which you don't even notice until you wash your hands or sth. you actually feel and see yourself getting cut by the files, spreading the blood around and all.

oh speaking of work, i did ot till 8 yesterday. hah i feel so proud of myself. and. the nice lady Janice of HR is trying to help me raise my pay to 6.5/hr! so nice.((:

the cough/flu bug is spreading around in the office like, well, a bug. everyone's sick, and somehow i feel like it all started out with me. ahh guilt.

--

working life is really different from the life of your average student.

--

the train passes a cathedral. catching a glimpse of it, he halts mid-grumble about his packed weekends filled with back-to-back appointments to his companion, crosses himself, says a quick prayer.

it makes you wonder if this is all there is to life.

2007-01-22T16:35:00.000+08:00

so the weekend's come and gone.

bid adieu to personal whims and fancies. enter routine.

file 14, 14.F1, 14.F2, 15, 16 from cabinet 1 goes to cabinet 2.

shift 53.F1, 53.F2, 53.F3 from shelf 2 to shelf 3.

and 95.F1, 95.F2, 96, blah blah blah, so on and so forth..., 110.F1, 111 goes to cabinet 6.

apparently there's no cabinet 6. ho hum. well done. Linda The Supervisor tells me to work my way to cabinet 5, then try to hide the other files in some other place till they find housing. ha.

i think i'm getting motion sickness.

-whee~! you make my head spin.

2007-01-19T10:22:00.000+08:00

friday's dress down day. hm everyone looks abit wierd in jeans. oh wells. the weekend's here!

okay. sentimental today, so. to the same few people, hey. thank you for the two best years of my life.(:

ahh i miss school. whenever i take the train home and see ppl in e vj uniform i'll feel so.. left out, so forlorn. school has become a been there, done that, kind of thing. which i definitely don't like. i want to be part of things again! sheesh i really miss school. i miss the class too! i can imagine all of us working at fish and co, courtesy of ms louisa choo. i can see zihua and janice and __ alr haha. bah. dang.

time, life's one and only constant.

ah. sweet, sweet, irony.

-in 10 hours.

2007-01-17T13:23:00.000+08:00

the drink vending machine in the office pantry is amazing. oh man. i think i've found a new reason to come to work.

two more days. blearghh its driving me crazy.

2007-01-17T09:42:00.000+08:00

Wednesday, January 17. yay i like.(:

hey love!

-you're a song written by the hands of god.

2007-01-15T23:11:00.000+08:00

Three and a half days more.

Okay maybe its four, but aish. What the heck.

-"The star for which all evenings wait."

2007-01-13T18:49:00.000+08:00

life and its happenings don't fit and fall perfectly into broad categories, every circumstance is different. the things deemed right by one, to the world, could be seen as a grieve misgiving. usually a person does things in which he thinks are right, and more often than not, with a good, sound reason. a person whose actions are condemned by the world. the world sees his actions as a wrongdoing, but when you think about it, surely what he did was not wrong, given his reason and circumstance. the challenge lie in even bothering to accept what he deems as right.

hmm.

2007-01-13T14:19:00.000+08:00

always reminds me of you.

The Way You Look At Me-Christian Bautista

[Intro:]
No one ever saw me like you do
All the things that I could up to
I never knew just what a smile was worth
But your eyes say everything without a single word

[Chorus:]
'Cause there's somethin' in the way you look at me
It's as if my heart knows you're the missing piece
You made me believe that there's nothing in this world I can't be
I never know what you see
But there's somethin' in the way you look at me

If i could freeze some moment in my mind
Be the second that you touch your lips to mine
I'd like to stop the clock, make time stand still
'Cause baby, this is just the way I always wanna feel

[Chorus:]
'Cause there's somethin' in the way you look at me
It's as if my heart knows you're the missing piece
You made me believe that there's nothing in this world I can't be
I never know what you see
But there's somethin' in the way you look at me

[Bridge:]
I dont know how or why I feel different in your eyes
All I know is it happens everytime

[Chorus:]
'Cause there's somethin' in the way you look at me
It's as if my heart knows you're the missing piece
You made me believe that there's nothing in this world I can't be
I never know what you see
But there's somethin' in the way you look at me

The way you look at me

-"So put your hand in the hand of mine, and we'll spread this love like dandelions."

2007-01-12T23:04:00.000+08:00

okay blogger is screwed up. i cant edit my posts. gahh whatever.

oh work was bad. i had to do the filing twice, as if playing musical cabinets with 110 files once wasnt enough. and the first time was just so that they could fake the ppl checking the cabinets and pass the test. it also didnt help that the irritating ppl keep on koping my files bahh. but its all part of the job so i shouldnt complaint. but man. i had like the most number of filecuts and scratches on my fingers and arms than i ever had in my whole life.

stepped into thousand and one puddles of water and my heels and pants were totally wet. eww la. and so cold. but then it will just mean a new pair of heels. wahaha! i likee.

oh this super nice guy in the train made my morning.(:

uh sorry if its all complaints but blearghh. my throat's scratchy and i cant seem to catch up with my nose. boo. i want you! *wails.

three-going-on-four, then there're seven more to go. friday. boy oh boy can't wait.

-hey honey turkey of mine.

2007-01-11T00:15:00.000+08:00

isn't it true. everything boils down to pride. misunderstandings and problems. but it also prevents people from being reduced to a lump of quivering, gibbering, unrecognisable mess during rough times and send people scampering to salvage whatever that's left of their sanity and hold on to the last bit of it.

i've always thought that it holds people together.

you wonder how some just forgo it so easily.

some argue that the cause is worthy.

you wonder by what standards is worthy considered worthy. you realise that everything is tilted towards you and the worthiness of the cause can only be judged by others.

so. away with pride. maybe all that matters is knowing where the line is drawn and learning to draw it when you need to. the line that marks the region where you lose it all and the region where you don't lose it all, ie. just some. which is good enough.

well. just some ramblings. dont say duh. ignore it if it doesnt makes sense to you.

i'm tired and abit cranky.

okay i lied. i'm more than abit cranky. a little more than abit. hehheh oh no i think i'm getting delirious.

okay update about work.

i almost died at the fax machine today.

The Way I Do - Marcos hernandez

your kiss, your smile, your mind
you're sunlight in my eyes
i miss your breath on my neck
when we whisper in the night

didn't wanna want you
didn't wanna need you so bad
didn't wanna wake up
and find that i was falling so fast
didn't wanna need you
didn't wanna need anyone
now look what you've done

now i can't go on without you
i'm naked, i cant fake it.
i'm not that strong without you
never thought i could love you the way i do.

your touch, your skin, can't believe the way you let me in
don't rush tonight, i need you like the ocean needs the tide.

didn't wanna want you
didn't wanna need you so bad
didn't wanna wake up
and find that i was falling so fast
didn't wanna need you
didn't wanna need anyone
now look what you've done

now i can't go on without you
i'm naked, i cant fake it.
i'm not that strong without you
never thought i could love you the way i do.

i always thought i would stand on my own
climb a mountain top all alone
relying, depending on no one
now look at what you've done

now i can't go on without you
i'm naked, i cant fake it.
i'm not that strong without you
never thought i could love you the way i do.

never thought i could love you
never thought i could need you
never thought i could want you
the way i do

never thought i could love you
never thought i could need you
never thought i could want you
the way i do

i love you
i need you
i want you
..the way i do
(x2)

2007-01-07T21:13:00.000+08:00

is it truly just me, or is it the workings of an overactive, overly engaged imagination, or is it the dire result of the strict-to-a-fault conformation to a stereotyped attitude and mindset?

bah. i really dont know. dont know what to make of it, dont know what to do with it, dont know what to do about it, dont know how to go about doing it. argh.

i've been living in the clouds. good morning, starshine. the earth says hello. then, crash crash bang bang.

shoot me.

-excuse me i assumed

hey 2007.

2007-01-05T21:18:00.000+08:00

okay i've finally gotten down to blogging. first entry of year 2007, and 5 days late. ah lazy la. oops hehe. alrights so first things first.

2006 has been an interesting year for me. i remember starting the year with exuberance that stems from the giddiness of having experienced pure liberation and freedom. hey you. i hope you grew up.

hawaii. i've always wanted to visit it and i've finally got the chance to, and with almost the whole of the band, no less. the joy at having achieved such marks during the Pacific basin music festival was woohoo! we wanted the gold and we did it. truly, with heart and voice.(:

then majestia. ah that might be my last concert, but at least it was a good one.
to the flautists of vjcsb: thank you so much for all the wonderful moments. i thought i started off my term in vjcsb badly in june 2005 when i screwed up fiesta by the gardens, ( i cant really rmb what it is called. i think its fiesta by the gardens. hee.) but thank you for not judging me based on that. well, at least, i hope no one did. haha. i had really really great fun with you people, although i can be bhb abit and say that i think all the fun in the section really started when qixin joan and i joined the section. teehee. andrew had to put up with all our urging for section lunches and section outings, but its all worthwhile okay. our section came out strong and as the only section to have a cheer. okay fine. the first section to come out with a cheer and an anthem. yay the flute cheer and the flute anthem! haha. love each and every one of you flautists, from andrew to zy to timothy to qiyan to huimin to darren to valerie to peizhen, and esp charissa, with all the lame and funny moments we shared, sharing a stand and file. crossfire, eh? haha, cease fire already la. hehheh!

okay enough of band.

05S43. 2006 was the year that we really got closer together as a class. i loved all the times and different sessions we had together, be it bridging sessions, mugging sessions, chillout sessions, bitching sessions or random photo taking sessions. hehhehheh my personal favourite sessions are the bitching sessions. muwahaha *rubs hands in glee :D i really cant thank you guys enough for opening up and allowing me to integrate into the class, with me being a second intaker and all. but really, the times i had with you guys were absolutely rad. since i dont want to sound like a spoilt machine repeating thank yous to everyone, i shall just group ppl tgt. hopefully that covers almost everyone.

my lovely fellow bridge-ers ( janice, chiewshan, cam, darren and occasionally peifang). you guys are really a big part of my life in school. i think all the breaks would be insufferable without you ppl. haha. love each and every one of you for being there, bridging with me. haha. oh and those asshole daidi times, in which i will forever be stuck being the asshole, with no hope of ever redeeming myself. haha. bridge on, people! ah my fingers are itchy now. it has been too long since i last bridged! bleagh.

the pw group (yiling, peifang, daniel, bomb.. and jx?). aha so much happened during our pw sessions, from our flow-chart convo with companies to our stayover, bookclub, thank-you-daniels, and the chronicles of __. i still laugh when i see colourful striped shorts haha. oh wells. know that we're the best group. love you all.

the lit ppl (zihua, cam, pf, janice). yoohooo. we love lit and we love mr harris. (janice, you're a sick woman HAHA). we love pretz, hate (most of ) paper 3 and mr gay. down with mr gay!

the going out people (louisa, zuoyi, chincheong, daniel, darren, karfu, yawen, chiewshan, francis, peimin, timothy, yiling, cam, zihua). missed all the gatherings we have at zuoyi's house. (esp since its so near wahaha). there was world cup finals, the pizza gathering, and many other random gatherings. x-men and narnia. those times we went out to eat after school too, and the plans to go the expensive-jap-restaurant-in-suntec. the one in which the name starts with K. aha. oh yes. the class sports day and all. the times in the tree house. i somehow still see daniel holding a banana in hand and bouncing on the bridge looking uncannily like a monkey for a second. okay. for many seconds haha. thanks for those wonderful times, really really.(:

hongkong. ahhh. my first time going overseas just with friends. i loved all your company, the 13 of us. all the times shopping till late in the night, teasing each other and photo whoring. i seem to have no words to describe the whole trip, except perhaps wonderful. and that i think is an understatement. oh okay i might add that the trip was filled with rewards. cliche, i know, but after the trip we seem to have more new things to..... talk about. hahaha. total revelations and confessions eh. muwahahaa.

qixin. hey girl. thank you for going through so much (and i really mean muchMUCH) with me. i thank god that i have you. i know you love me. haha!(:

joan. i love you girl.(:

xiwei. it was so wierd and so unbelievable, but we made it. but then again, we always do. haha. weeeow, there's not much to say, except that you fill me with happiness that threatens to bubble over, and that you make everything that was wrong right, or seem right. you really are nothing short of my everything. thank you for being you, wei, and for just being.(:

okay now i think i should send my love to some of the people directly. hey qixin, joan, louisa, peifang, charissa, xiwei, thank you all for being there. love!(:

--

alrighty now. new year was fun. went sizzlers, then chijmes for the countdown, before walking all the way to xiwei's house from there. haha. messy, muddy business, i tell you. pretty much ruined a pair of favourite heels. aw man. anyhoos, i had the loveliest morning. oh oops did i say morning i meant day. i had the loveliest day, which includes morning, evening, night, and dawn. *BIGsmile. hehe!:D

--

ah yes. i have to announce this. i'm finally employed, everyone!

i seriously dont know how to react when the lady from the agency called. i'm naturally happy that i got a job, because although its 6 bucks per hour, its still money. but the job starts monday, so that means i'll have to forfeit crashing sea regetta and watch people get dunked, and half a day with the class, and most importantly, half a day with xiwei. ahhh!! and he's going in on tues. oh whywhywhy. louisa ask me to take leave but i think if i ask they'll most prob ask me to take leave for the rest of the days la ha thanks. first day of work how to take leave?! boo. okay anyway today has been mainly a mish mash of emotions. a total roller coaster ride. not a very nice feeling. oh well. anyhoos, after much irritation and frustration caused by the nagging, i've finally gotten down to sorting out and putting the things sitting on my table in order, but that doesnt mean i've already packed up my room, cos i've got to remove those things on my table completely. bahh.

i need to shop for office wear!

my mom complaints that the font size i use is too small, so i shall increase the size.

alrighty its getting late. i shall stop here. till then!

-sweeter than srawberries, more perfect than peaches.(:

2006-12-30T19:04:00.000+08:00

aha can you believe it. two hours of "tennis" and i'm sunburned. in december! it wasnt that hot today, was it. blearghh. i'm red. ahh so ugly. i swear, its ariffin's fault. he and his ugly-titis. i must have been infected by him cos the first time i ever heard of such a disease was from him. ah i know. it must be his hair. teehee! bleargh i'm totally red and really hot.

okay maybe hot's not due to the sunburn. good things usually come from the inside, know. my face's hot, but soon you'll be feeling the heat, babeh!

hahaha alrights i think the heat has affected my brain. you can ignore those words. teehee.

i suck at bowling and tennis. but oh yay my skills at pool are getting better. good game today man. good game. it isnt everyday that i dont get thrashed at pool. wahaha.

--

i didnt realise how much i missed you till i saw you.

--

okay dinner. till then. happy new year everyone!(:

-its the thunder and lightning we can't explain.

05S43

2006-12-26T02:08:00.000+08:00

05S43

ah NICEE. well done louisa!((:

-i love 05S43.(:

2006-12-18T16:06:00.002+08:00

i need to start buying christmas presents. oh fly money fly.

you gave this to me, but this time round its for you.

The distance
The sky has lost its color
The sun has turned to grey
At least that's how it feels to me
Whenever you're away

I crawl up in the corner
As I watch the minutes pass
Each one brings me closer to
The time when you'll be back
You're coming back

I can't take the distance
I can't take the miles
I can't take the time
Until the next time I see you smile
I can't take the distance
And I'm not ashamed
That I can't take a breath whitout saying your name
But I can't take the distance

I can brave a hurricane
And still be standing tall
when all the dust has settled down
But I can't take the distance

I still believe in feelings
But sometimes I feel too much
I make believe you're close to me
But it ain't close enough
Not nearly close enough

I can't take the distance
I can't take the miles
I can't take the time
until the next time I see you smile
I can't take the distance
And I'm not ashamed
That I can't take a breath
without saying your name

I can brave a hurricane
And still be standing tall
when all the dust has settled down
I can't take the distance
I can't take the miles
I can't take the time
until the next time I see you smile
I can't take the distance
And I'm not ashamed
That I can't take a breath without saying your name

And I can't take the distance
The distance

-come back soon.

2006-12-17T17:57:00.000+08:00

havent blogged for some time and there are so many many things. firstly and most importantly, i'm 18!(: yay finally, although it feels like i was 18 way before the 16th of december due to the few be-earlied celebrations.

to the people who went to hongkong, thank you people so much for giving me my first wonderful birthday surprise. i wasnt expecting anything, given that by the time my birthday comes we wont be in hk anymore. but thank you thank you a really really big happy thank you. i've never really celebrated my birthday overseas before, so its a first! yay so many many firsts:D i'm really really touched (with unglam photos to prove it). love you guys.(:

oh and to qixin and joan, i feel like the luckiest girl to have two such wonderful people with me. thank you both so much for being the directors of the surprise in hongkong, and for orchestrating the surprise in singapore. i can just imagine all the work done, especially the rush to get my present ready just after hongkong and before nssn. thank you both so much for bothering to put in so much effort! that was the best dinner i had with you two, and i promise not to get sick of ham and cheese. haha.

and finally to you. i think the best presents are personalised presents.(: i can only imagine how tiring it was for you with tournaments and problems and overseas trips to give me all the surprises, waiting for me at the airport despite having to go to malaysia less than 6 hours later, and even though i told you not to, hm? (although i am most glad you didnt listened to me, though. haha). oh yes thank you john for helping out with my present. much appreciated by me.(: anyhoos, i had the most wonderful time and the best dinner, especially the dessert. yay i like chocolate fondue i get happy thinking about it :D so thank you for all and everything, and thank you for just being you, yourself, and no other.(:

alrighty birthday pictures.

oh i like cheesecake cafe.

the cheesecakes.

the present/dinner.

dinner at swiss culture.

chocolate fondue! yay i likee.

the present.(:

now for hongkong. actually i personally felt that there wasnt much to shop in hongkong, thought i did shop quite a bit haha. but after a while everything just looked the same. nonetheless i did sharpened my bargaining skills, so i suppose that was something good. ( i suck at bargaining.) we walked most of the five days there from 9am to 12am, except for day four, when we went ocean park. bought stuffed penguins and a sealion there. ahh the penguin is super super cute my brother had to put it beside his desk while he does his work so he could pet it every now and then. hehe! i think the sea jellies we saw were amazing, and the cable car ride. oh yes day four was fun, with ocean park, my birthday surprise, and the joy of having one more new person to bitch about. *gives a loud evil laugh and rubs hands in glee* muwahahaha. anyhoos, i bought my new school bag, and i cant wait to go school now. haha.

oh yes the hotel room. it was unbelievably small. actually the room qixin joan and i shared wasnt that small, but still, it was considerably small. the dorsett seaview hotel didnt have a seaview, by the way. we suspected that since it sits on reclamation street, it should be built on reclaimed land, hence the "seaview". ha.

but yea, hongkong was fun, with all the stupid things i do. okay correction: the stupid things that we do. teehee. i shall let the pictures do the talking.

dim sum.(:

darren, louisa, joan and i.

the ferry to hk island.

pretty christmas lights in hongkong.

i've finally gotten frustrated with photobucket, so its image station now. i've already linked the photos up. i'm hardworking! haha. alrighty. more birthday photos, http://www.imagestation.com/album/pictures.html?id=2097988910. hongkong photos, http://www.imagestation.com/album/pictures.html?id=2097990240. prom photos, http://www.imagestation.com/album/pictures.html?id=2097988532

okay till next time. BYE.

"Once in a while, right in the middle of an ordinary life, love gives us a fairy tale."

with you, i feel like a princess. thank you once again for being just you and no other. happy first, and for the many more to come. love!(:

2006-12-09T12:16:00.000+08:00

ookie. prom'06 was quite okay. the food wasnt too bad and the programme wasnt too hastily pieced together. but i missed the part where all the prom king and queen nominees danced. bahh how could i miss it! never did get to see zihua dance.): before prom was totally in a rush and i was late! as always, without fail. i'm really sorry, hon. really really. boo. i promise to try not to be late next time k! hee.

oh after prom was when all the fun really started. i'm proud to proclaim that i was the last female standing (in heels) after walking all the way from ritz to clarke quay. (okay maybe that's cos everyone brought a change of shoes and i didnt, but that doesnt count, does it. haha.) and being the professional female that i am, i only complain after i've climbed fort canning in heels. omgosh i almost died and i'll never ever ever do that again. in the end we couldnt watch the sunrise from fort canning and so after climbing all the way up and a short debate at the top of fort canning, we climbed down. -_-" hahaha i'm still very amused.

--

guess who just dropped by :D

gosh i'm surprised and touched. ah i want to bawl no one has managed to surprise me before. i cant wait for 10th dec and hk to come so i can read the card, and i'm going to try my best to squeeze the pillow into my luggage.

i'm surprised. for the first time in my life i am surprised. oh mann.

--

okay back to prom. it was nice meeting people and chilling outside attica. haha i think maryann and malcolm so cute. met yanjie and sue-lynn. ah and tunghoe and trevor. goodness i didnt know trevor was that short. hohoho.

the class wanted to catch the first train go cam's house but its all the way at bishan. my feet was screaming and its damn far la. so its hangout at mt emily instead. its quite a nice place, with nice people.(: didnt really slept cos i amazingly didnt feel tired even though it was like 6am. heh.

what an interesting and fun night. haha.(: alrighty pictures coming up.

the flute section.

qixin joan and i

some dude eh. haha.

hongkong's tmr. gosh i cant believe it doesnt feel real. but i suppose the excitement will come when i pack my bag later. the cousins are here to celebrate my birthday. yay my birthday! cant wait for birthday dinner. man its a whole loong week.
--

hey you.(: play well k. all the way to the top! its a whole week from now, but we will make it. we always do.((:

-love love love.

2006-12-07T20:29:00.000+08:00

my house is sounding like a bandroom now with one of my brothers tooting on his trumpet and another blasting on his trombone, playing some wierd, warped variation of twinkle twinkle.

i cannot decide if i should yell at them or join in with them.

haha. what the hell.

-bemused.

2006-12-01T23:11:00.000+08:00

i'm bored and there's nothing to do online, so i've decided to be hardworking and upload all the photos. alrighty here goes.

nssn'05

stj

college day

the section

oh i'm reminded that i havent got my farewell present. its long overdue! and. i'm coming back from hk on the 14th, not the 16th. that means i'm still coming back a 17yrold. baahh. all the excitement for nothing. but then, it would mean that i'll be able to go for nssn! yay!(: oh ya that means i've got to get tickets.

my dad's eating something downstairs it smells damn good and its tempting. but its almost 12 and that means that all the calories i gain will become fats. ah but the instant kimchi ramen is calling out to me. okay. resist.

alrights. i'm kinda lazy to blog, so i shall let the photos do the job. the hols in pics. teehee.

thank god for buffet at sakura. dory fish! yay i likee.

the girls.

the belated and be-earlied birthdays.

getting spas. haha.

fel's birthday at the bimbo cafe.

haha.

and i shall not forget my fav monkey. haha.(:

alrighty! that's all. till next time. BYE!

2006-11-28T10:17:00.000+08:00

i believe that i'm gonna read my whole holiday away. three new books for 75cents. actually its eight books for 75 cents, but three's enough for me. mann shopping at borders have NEVER been so fun and exhilerating. it was just pick up the books and go. muwahaha. YES i likeee. thank god for gift cards and a sweet, sweet darling. woohoo, babeh! oh, the love for books and the things we do for them. *WIDEgrin.

so meeting fel and karin yesterday wasnt as bad as we expected, but therein lies the flaw. the meeting was supposed to be bad. aha. so disconcerting. but i'm so glad the whole thing is over. happy birthday, fel! i hope you liked your present. wahaha. i'll upload the photos soon. teehee!

i've finally got my prom earrings! yay. and. the lovely lovely expensive hairband i've been eyeing since god knows how long. the one which wouldnt leave an indentation behind my ears and therefore induce irritation and a headache.

haha. i feel like cooing. what a lovely day yesterday was. aha. so many new things and all for a minimum price.

alrights off the macs to discuss the hk trip, then indulging at gelare's again.

yess i like. most definitely.(:

- yay.(:

2006-11-26T11:40:00.000+08:00

sore feet! oofph.

everyday walking, walking.

oh so many birthdays and presents. and. christmas is coming! somehow the christmas lights in orchard seem a tad boring. seems to be lacking in festive cheer. but then, its one more month to christmas. ooh one more month to love actually. yay.((:

i'm sorry i'm rambling.

ahh sore feet's putting a damper to my spirits. blah.

oh yes. thank you girls for yesterday. it was fun catching up, mochi, dory fish and all. hahaha. and all things considered, the 1/3 of the cake left is in surprisingly good shape.

i love gelare. i love spending the whole day there reading, with LOVE. oohhoohoo i loveloveluurrve. hahaha :D

there's this joyful glee that makes my world tilt on its axis and go round and round, making my head spin,(dont think exorcist) and my heart sing. hellooo sweetheart. me happy!

okay you might want to ignore that. i'm incoherent and its all a tumbling of mish mash.

i'm looking forward to monday!

- hearts are going lalala.

ooh i want a foot rub.

2006-11-23T01:13:00.000+08:00

oh its all over at last! the euphoria took over at fish and co at the glasshouse, with the toast and all. but now i'm just tired. oh well. makes sense. its 1 plus.

so. a full day of reading at the beach tomorrow, then its vivo on friday!((: mummy came back from thailand with new dresses. YAY. i love new clothes. haha. the girls on saturday, and fel's birthday on monday. oooh. packed.(: but its okay. i like. haha.

alrights. to bed! till then. BYE!

- yoouuhoo.

2006-11-18T12:28:00.000+08:00

the As are still not officially over. but well. i've gone shopping on wednesday! woohooo, babeh!! andd. having spent nearly 300 bucks i've got three dresses three pants and two tops. yay i finally got my dress! my pretty pretty dress. and. i'm definitely gonna wear it on my birthday!(:

oh yes. speaking of birthdays, it has just dawned onto me that i'll go hk a 17 yearold, and come back an 18yearold. and. i'll be buying my first alcohol two hours into my birthday. how cool is that man. woots.

i think if i laughed like what i did last sat i'm gonna have three packs on each cheek. okay that is gross. way gross. muscular cheeks. eww. but i suppose that's what happens when two funny vs guys come tgt. hm. i think i worked off my kg on that day. haha.

--

the loveliest time, and the loveliest people. a roller coaster ride. i'm still learning all its twists and turns, trying to figure out the unknown. but its okay. we're in this together.(:

friday!!

-loved.

2006-11-14T12:00:00.000+08:00

some things definitely need to be revisited once in a while. especially if i'm going to have to be prepared to brave the onslaught of consequences. and survive. happily.

big change, man. big change.

i'm still trying to figure out what does this mean. sometimes i find myself smiling at nothing, sometimes i hug myself in excitment, and sometimes i find myself sinking into the depths of uncertainty. well. most of the time, actually. i wonder what it holds for me. i figure out the imaginary pitfalls and try to plot and devise a way about them. i wonder if i should indulge or resist. i think i drive myself crazy thinking, and trying to decide if i should give myself a sound rap on the head, a kick in the ass, or forgive myself, for even thinking about it.

well. for now i'll settle with narrowing down my choices to either giving myself a sound rap on the head or a kick in the ass.

and oh yes. Resist. definitely.

-reminder to self: get real. and please burst that smiley-faced balloon. oh and that dreamy bubble too, while you're at it.

2006-11-10T11:17:00.000+08:00

tugs at heartstrings.

The Luckiest-Ben Folds

I don't get many things right the first time
In fact, I am told that a lot
Now I know all the wrong turns, the stumbles and falls
Brought me here

And where was I before the day
That I first saw your lovely face?
Now I see it everyday
And I know

That I am
I am
I am
The luckiest

What if I'd been born fifty years before you
In a house on a street where you lived?
Maybe I'd be outside as you passed on your bike
Would I know?

And in a white sea of eyes
I see one pair that I recognize
And I know

That I am
I am
I am
The luckiest

I love you more than I have ever found a way to say to you

Next door there's an old man who lived to his nineties
And one day passed away in his sleep
And his wife; she stayed for a couple of days
And passed away

I'm sorry, I know that's a strange way to tell you that I know we belong
That I know

That I am
I am
I am
The luckiest

2006-11-10T10:35:00.000+08:00

finally. a breather. okay maybe not so. i still have lit and physics weighing down on me. arrrghhh monday will be horrid. sheesh. math paper 1 was erm. freaky. i flipped opened the paper and panicked cos i didnt know how to do question 1! omg i should go knock my head on the wall or sth. how could i forget that i can sub values into Sn. bleargh. stupid. so stupid. ah nvm. its 4 marks. okay. okay. chill. math paper 2 was okay, although i didnt know what the last question's asking. but nvm the world's not coming to an end. and. how could i blank out on electrochem its like one of my better topics. gosh. okay. chilllll man. chill. freeze.

man i'm looking forward to what the end of 'A's would signal. vivocity, movies, outings. shopping, my dress(es). the unspoken, time with qixin joan, and all my dearies. hk! my birthday, and pleaseohplease a pup.

but that's at the end of 'A's. alrights. time for lit.

-unspoken

2006-10-29T19:57:00.000+08:00

how did everything go so wrong? you didnt deserve it. whether those people out there care to admit it or not, we all know you never did deserve to go through such hell. omg why. why. so unfair. life is so unfair. such a cliche. but why. why?!! i wanted to give you everything that you gave me, and more. i've already made up my mind to. even though i know saying this wont help, but i'm really sorry. what the heck. nothing we do now can help. what the hell. i'm so sorry. i dont know what it was like; i can only imagine.

its bad enough imagining.

goddammit.

-what is grief

2006-10-29T18:32:00.000+08:00

' but maybe Fate isn't the pond you swim in but the fisherman floating on top of it, letting you run the line wild until you are weary enough to be reeled back in. '

photos!

2006-10-22T17:59:00.000+08:00

photos!(: 05S43 rocks, i tell you.

mrs yik.

the residents of chem r.

the lings.

hey dude and dudettes.

spotted at carrefour.

well, it seemed to be a day for 43.(:

anyhoos, shall get back to mugging soon. i'm so sick of doing physics paper3s. but what the heck. this night be the only chance i have left to get sick of physics paper3.

i cant believe it. it has been so damn long. but then again, maybe it has been too damn long. hmm.

something's wrong. i'm time's fool and jammed in the strains of i believe. because of you is also starting to irritate. grr. go away.

-lets play a game of twenty questions.

farewell assembly

2006-10-14T00:36:00.000+08:00

farewell assembly. i was late. LATE!! for farewell assembly! gosh. but luckily they were nice and they let us in.(:

the concert was funny and cheesy and lame and omg! (the teachers! haha mr chow) and all that, albeit being abit elitist. but then again, we all love vj and think that vj is the best and that it rocks the universe, so i suppose its reasonable for us to be elitist once in a while. heh heh! i especially liked the vjc against _ jc one. haha. the throwing of papers and all. oh! and the why study one. loll. i think the lowest point during the concert was the announcing of mrs chan's leaving vj. cant imagine the hci whoever taking over lar. i hope he's as liberal as mrs chan. sheesh. imgine nxt year when we come back to collect a level results then they greet us in chinese. omgosh. i think everyone will just freak out la. but nevertheless, mrs chan's leaving is still sad.

then the band played the victorian anthem, and i almost lost it. i'm really gonna miss playing the national and victorian anthem every friday, no matter how out of tune it is. plus all the rushing that will happen every friday morning, the you're-late-again looks from jien/timothy/qixin/ joan, and the happy hey-you're-also-late! smiles from andrew/joan/qixin. sigh.): anyhoos, mass dance was great, even though i was abit lost. hee! free ice cream and the yummy-licious cake and the vj ring! i think its a super good momento to give. yay i like the ring alot alot alot. its says VJC!(: haha okay ya i know. but i likee.(:

then comes the taking of the class photos. so begins the cam-whoring. haha. clan photos from nowhere. and the clans from nowhere too. haha. chem r and math r and physics r. boys school and the girls school and the mixed school. chinese speaking school and english speaking school. haha. the bus 55 and bus 53 and the walk home clan aka telok kurau clan (ie. zuoyi and i). oh andd. the thompson medical centre and mount elizabeth one. HAHA.

lunch at ps, then cam's house. mahjong! dinner at nydc in suntec. then after that was random photos when walking about in suntec, haha. i think people were thinking we're mad or sth. haha. well.(:

i think vj rocks. everything is like so hyper and spontaneous. school's never boring. well, not really really, anyway. and everyone is up and about and just moving. although i used to be scared and afraid at the thought of schooling at a place i thought was way above my league, i never did regret coming to vj. being a victorian is an experience i'll cherish and always remember.

andd. to 05S43, thank you so so so much for allowing me to be part of you people. i think we're the most random, lamest, bonded, no-meaning, and the best class ever. I LOVE 05S43! thank you, guys, and remember, i love you.(((: hm. i think that was from Barney. haha.

alrighty. bottomline: i love being a victorian. and. i love 05S43. loveee!! <3!

okay! till the next time!(:

-VJC is LOVE <3.

VIVA LA VICTORIA!

2006-10-07T19:23:00.000+08:00

sheesh. everything seems to be so claustraphobic out of a sudden. even lettre a ma mere couldnt diffuse that stuffy-ness. and if i hit the notes any harder, i fear for the state of the piano. gosh. i'm really sorry if i was rude to anyone today. really. i dont usually get so down. or do i? wahaha. time for some soul searching.

-my ice kachang(:

2006-10-05T00:01:00.000+08:00

argh. go away. dont you dare think its funny huh. cos it isnt. nopes. so. go away. you're upsetting me and causing me extra stress. later i hyperventilate during the 'A's and faint and then i have to be carried out and mrs chan will then have to ask for an extra 20 minutes from the cpe for me how? hurhur. abit extreme. but u get e pt. so. be gone with you.

arfggggghhhhhh.

-its all but charades.

2006-09-26T14:31:00.000+08:00

life is interesting, fascinating. amazing. intriguing. ironic. wierd.

its a freaking labyrinth.

memories. ah now that's another bloody tricky fella. rememories too, huh.

hurhur.

i really love stay-at-home days.

enjoy being creeped out by thrillers.

the mosquito bites are driving me crazy.

-an exquisite extreme.

2006-09-24T18:43:00.000+08:00

was reading through my old entries when i came across this.

" sometimes people just see what they want to see. they call this self-delusion.

so yea.

i tink you're self-delusioned, and i don't know how you managed to drag so many people into this affair.

gong xi fa cai.

you're just so lame. really.

this sounds like some elaborate plan in which you've driven a dozen holes into the fabric of it yourself.

it sounds like some movie in which the glamorous opening appears to take you into the heart of the show. the cameras start rolling, and you see the conclusion. act one scene one, WHAM! you're thrown back to earth. open your eyes to reality. the people and scenery look like paper cut-outs. the plot falls flat.

ditto. and you're the director of your own movie. and in your own paradise. knock knock. hello? anyone home? or have you rented out that space?

i know it is horrible of me to gloat, and i'll most probably get huge blisters on my tongue/fingers for this, but..

i feel like a million bucks right now, in cold, hard cash.

-smirk."

reading this made me feel like a million bucks again man. haha!(:

2006-09-24T15:42:00.000+08:00

alrights. no more town for me. i've been there for 3 consecutive days. went to get my dress on fri. yay! so everything's kinda settled. which is good, cos i'm abit sick of the whole thing. ooh tj's sdd falls on the same day as ours! okay random info.

was late on sat. argh i'm always late!! poor xiwei. haha. sorry dude! monster house was funny. the small girl is damn cute! she and her tricycle. haha. albeit childish and cartoon-ish, its an interesting show. i think that clowns are the saddest people on earth.

anyhoos, had an interesting time shopping at lido and taka(again!). hm. some people do have good taste. some. hurhur. that includes me okay! the Cyn brand being abit cheaper than the rest doesnt mean anything. really. okay this is dumb. haha!

dinner at pepper lunch with fel and karin. nicee. i hope to meet up again! it felt good to talk about things i normally cant really talk about. toni morrison is right. the telling matters, and i'm reminded of how glad i am to be me again. free. i think i almost suffocated to death. but no longer.

i realised something else too. i need to exorcise you from me. but i dont know how. really. i might have grew 15 years younger, but there's still this 5 years of ache. untold, unheard, and unaccounted for. ookay. now that sounded like Beloved. ha.

running at ecp and a good lit discussion tmr.

mann. two full days of walking around is taking its toil on me.

i love borders! haha.

its time to start studying again!

hahaha. i really hope i believed that. lol.

keep it to yourself. for now, at least. please.

-free.

2006-09-21T22:37:00.000+08:00

towning today with qixin was fun. we raided heeren and walked enough to last me for one month. haha. and i'm going back on sat. and hopefully dragging my mom to tangs studio to see this nice, preeetty dress. i want to get it. for sdd! mann. i hope nobody's gonna wear that same dress that night. there was this njc student trying it on in the fitting room too. sheesh.

i got my clutch! finally. i still think the price is abit steep, but well, i have my clutch. and such a pretty one too! andd i got a nice new top for myself. haha. yay yay yayness all around.(:

oh! i finally ate at the soup spoon! i love love lurrrved it. the smoked salmon was absolutely deli. smackers.((: i want to eat there again! haha. i get happy just thinking about it. oh yum!(:

ooh. sore feet. i hope i wont get blisters or sth. i still want to wear heels on sat!

its stay-at-home day tmr. two books from the library. how lovely. i shall finish reading them by tomorrow and i can return them when i go town on sat.

note to self: i cannot, shall not, WILL NOT indulge. promise.

taka reminds me of the embarrassing takopachi incident. which also reminds me that i miss band and all the flute lunches and outings. i wanna play in a band again!! sigh.

okay. i'm gonna go read now. time to indulge!

-free and lovin' it.

love thyself.

2006-09-15T23:27:00.000+08:00

i cant understand people who cut themselves. cant. i dont see the reason why. it doesn't actually solve anything, does it. i mean, why wallow in self-pity? what happens to self love? i know that too much self love is bad, but one has got to have that little bit of self love to have lived this long and come this far in life, right? is this world such a sad place that you have to carve the miseries it inflicts upon you onto yourself? well. if you actually think about it and accept whatever life has for you and take it in stride, i think this world is quite a nice place after all, isnt it?

i really don't seem to comprehend at all.

i'm glad to announce that i've officially finish reading beloved. goodness. it has taken me a year and i really should have already finish reading it like, manymany months ago. but no matter. i love the book. well, as a storybook, in the least. i think toni morrison writes beautifully. its one of the most compelling novels i've ever read.

" There's nothing to rub now and no reason to. Nothing left to be bathe, assuming he even knows how. Will he do it in sections? First her face, then her hands, her thighs, her feet, her back? Ending with her exhusted breasts? And if he bathes her in sections, will the parts hold?"

"Cry and tell him things they only told each other: that time didnt stay put; that she called, but Howard and Buglar walked on down the railroad track and couldn't hear her; that Amy was scared to stay with her because her feet were ugly and her back looked so bad; that her ma'am had hurt her feelings and she couldn't find her hat anywhere."

compelling.

we are all growing up. its kinda scary to think so, but yea. we're all growing up. everyone's eighteen and soon we'll all be looking good during sdd and partying in DXO after that. then its hongkong time! and then, i'll well and truly be eighteen. cars and driving lessons and debit card. fingers crossed for uni and hopefully, a pup. heels and bags and estee lauder and dior and kose. (i want my lancome colour fever!! even if its only for the packaging. haha.) hopefully a change of warbrobe. *the implication: SHOPPING!((: haha. yes. we're all growing into young ladies. its a bit scary, huh. but still i feel the joy of being able to just revel in the joys of youth. its kinda exciting yet sad at the same time. but its okay! i think we'll all retain and bring with us a part, if not all, of our childish self. so ya! i cant wait for everything to happen.(:

but right now, its prelims. since everyone is complaining about it, i shant do so. life's a bitch at times. sigh.

nevermind! i still have thursday to look forward too! haha. three days of play! haha. then its time to hit the books again. mann. the life of a student.

-the self.

termites!!

2006-09-09T23:13:00.000+08:00

i'm traumatized. my toilet has got termites. omggggggg. i saw this little sand like thing at the corner and thought it was dirt and used tissue to wipe it. and lo and behold. i see manimani white small worms (at least, they look like it) shaking their bonbons at me. goodness. i'm really traumaized. anddd. they looked like rice. ackk. plus i cant go bathe now unless i want to intoxicate myself with insecticide. mann this is just not the time for such discoveries. prelims is two days away. okay. one, in 45 minute's time. how am i supposed to do math while worrying if my door's gonna drop off from its hinges any minute. and worrying about it everytime i see the toilet. HUR.

i feel like screaming. blogging is not working. i need someone to call me right now.

my dear dear qixin!! where are you?

2006-09-06T21:06:00.000+08:00

yes i know i'm not supposed to be here but i'm still here.

i just took my weight cos well, i was there and the weighing scale was there, and guess what. i lost a kg! just like that! without doing anything!! except, maybe, studying. oh yay!!

okay. that's it man. i am from now wholely and totally devoted to studying. i love studying. absolute worship man, absolute worship. i love studying. cyn loves studying. yeps. right now i'm just gonna fail or hopefully get an E or a D for my chem and then get an A for the a.s. or rather, 4 As. oh yes. you just watch me. i'm so gonna do it.(:

yes. enough crapping. i dont wanna fail chem!!! so what on earth am i doing here. i should be mugging.

okay. going.

i lost a kg!!(:(:

alrights.

-we all live for the stars that once lit up the night skies.

2006-09-03T20:55:00.000+08:00

i've never realised that i've forgotten the many things which happened in tk, even in sec4. gosh. yes and chit yen really has a photographic memory. rarr so unfair. if only i had it. then maybe my grades will not be so ^%!$#!*&. haha. oh yes i was talking about the past incidents. somewhere inside the deep(shallow?) recesses of my limited memory i remember something about teletubbies. we were the teletubbies i rmb. or so i thought i remembered. the four talkative shorties sitting in front. lol. imad (used to be jon see but both are equally noisy.) and chelle and chit yen and i. haha.

talking about jon see. somehow back then everytime when i talk to either jon see and imad they'll somehow end up being scolded. even when its only me doing the talking. then the incredulous looks and the whispered "what sia's" they'll give me. HAHA. oh and those times we tried to swap places so i could sit with chelle. or vice versa. mrs chee's surprise when she comes into class to find cyn sitting with chelle, either at the 2nd row or the 1st, but sitting together nonetheless. haha. and mrs tan's look whenever she sees chelle going into one of her unladylike poses like propping her legs on the table or stuffing them in the space under the desk. then every morning, the "hi sherene"s and the "li juaaaan"s.

and YES chit yen i rmb u everyday kicking/pushing/tapping at the chair and going "thia thia thia." for my stapler. HAHA.

okay that's enough remembering for now. i've got papers to do. honestly i think doing papers makes you depressed. okay. for me, at least. argh. but nvm. it will get better. it MUST get better. hur. okay. BYE.

-chit yen is a horrible monster with a multi-coloured and detachable ass. lol.

come what may

2006-08-30T00:24:00.000+08:00

today was such an interesting day. (louisa said this isnt called blogging, so i shall add on. today felt like i was meeting, walking up and bumping into the past. literally. they were very interesting encounters. ya.) okay its 12 plus. i'm outta here.

Come What May
Never knew I could feel like this
Like I've never seen the sky before
I want to vanish inside your kiss
Every day I'm loving you more and more
Listen to my heart, can you hear it sings
Telling me to give you everything
Seasons may change, winter to spring
But I love you until the end of time

Come what may
Come what may
I will love you until my dying day

Suddenly the world seems such a perfect place
Suddenly it moves with such a perfect grace
Suddenly my life doesn't seem such a waste
It all revolves around you
And there's no mountain too high
No river too wide
Sing out this song I'll be there by your side
Storm clouds may gather
And stars may collide
But I love you until the end of time

Come what may
Come what may
I will love you until my dying day

Oh, come what may, come what may
I will love you, I will love you
Suddenly the world seems such a perfect place

Come what may
Come what may
I will love you until my dying day

- you're such a beautiful disaster.

nostalgia.

2006-08-14T23:29:00.000+08:00

Nostalgia.

i ran at east coast park today. the 8km was unintentional, but it felt good. the breeze felt good. somewhere along the way i lost steam, so my attention began to wander.

as i ran, i saw my four years in tk.

the time i missed my very first first road run because there was some band event the next day.

the starting point. i remebered how lina and i conspired. she set the pace for me, and i was supposed to get some position for 2B. i remembered the exhilaration. all the way. running past people. the cheers. all the way. i remembered seeing mrs juliana goh with her walkie talkie. i still remember pieces of what she said and i knew how close i was. how close. until i heard footsteps behind me and saw yingzhen and weijing running side by side. then, the desperation. the resignation. so that was that. but we got our class championship anyway, and it was a band year. the band people ruled that road run and came out tops.(:

the next year. i had an aim and i thought i could do it. now that i think about it, it was stupid. but it was all thanks to you, i suppose. did you know, i ran for you? i suppose you didnt. but it doesnt matter anymore now, does it.
the turning point. i remember the people on bicycles. jon see cycling beside me cheering me on. so it was thanks you jonathan see. all the way he was there from a little before mid-way to the end. i saw sherene. i remembered being confused. but yes. all the way to the end. exhilaration.
the guys didnt do well, so 3C didnt win the class championship. but the girls won the team event though. sherene michelle and i. and someone else i cant remember.
then, at macdonald's. you and your half smile. three words -or was it two?- and that was that.

the final year. meow year. the guys ran first, then the girls. he was waiting for me i think. then we ran. the cheers and teases. i wasnt as fit and wanted to stop. we were about to and there was sherene. all year i had wondered if she didnt ran the wrong route would she have taken over my position? now i know. she's good. so that year i had second best. sherene chelle melissa lijuan and i were in top 50 and 4C won the girls team event thing. oh yes how can i forget mrs chee haha. i was thankful to meow. i still am. he got 16th position and he could have easily came in first. i remembered a tinge of saddness. but oh well! its okay. i've had all three, and not many people have that.(:

-

i see that my achievements is propertionate to the band outdoor comp years. the best was sec3, and that was after the 02 comp. ah i remember the sweet sweet victory. there was nothing left, nothing. we left them with nothing. i've never had such an emotional rollarcoaster ride before, with tears of saddness one instant, and the very next, tears of joy. i never actually believed one could cry tears of joy, but now i know better. the best drum major award before the best display band almost killed me. after that it was cry cry cry. tears and hugs and kisses. cymbals went clash clash clash. and pride. pure pride. i think i twirled the cymbals harder playing in front of the school than i did in the field. later, the band mass dance back in tk at the parade square. the standard of tk band might have dropped, but it was glory, glory, glorious back then.

band, then you. i still like the smell of strawberry fruit flavoured cookies.

-

i wanted to run back home from school, but i was afraid it would be too much for me. so i walked, and when i reached the playground i saw this couple from this certain school. i thought it was you, and to be honest, i secretly hoped it was you. that hunched shoulders. that arrogant swagger, like you know everything there is to this world (oh but you dont. really.) and as if the whole world belonged to you. ( which, btw, it doesnt.) i didnt have a chance at that particular concert, which was quite disappointing. i never got my chance to saunter up to you and say, cheers! i hope you've grown up. now look, and weep.

but i guess everyone lives for the future. so shall i.

till next time then. BYE.

HEELS!(:

2006-08-12T23:51:00.001+08:00

i love my new heels. and i love daddy even more for agreeing to pay the 70 bucks for it!! haha. muah i love you daddy! muah!((:

i'm in a great mood now.(:

-nothing beats getting new heels(:

LOVE.

2006-08-09T23:07:00.000+08:00

i love wonbin.

ohmy. LOVELOVELOVEEE!!((:

oh ya. happy national day peeps!

--->WONBIN IS LOVE<---

-be still my heart.

2006-08-06T17:32:00.000+08:00

boy: officer i cant run anymore! my chest hurts.

officer: poor boy. continue running.

boy: officer my thigh hurts.

officer: oh you POOR BOY. continue running.

boy: officer i have cramps in my toe! *falls down dramatically*

officer: OH YOU SAD BOY.
*ties the boy up like how they tied the refree in the tiger beer/world cup advertisement and carries him away*

gosh. this scenario makes me double up with laughter. HAHA.

dont underestimate us. inately we're all EVIL. wahahaha.

2006-08-05T18:08:00.000+08:00

i think it smells like you again.

my strawberry flavoured fruit cookies.

hm yeah it does!

i think its a bad thing.

The world starts to spin again, you learn things you didn't know then
Feels like the bloom is off the rose
But you weather a few storms and you pull out a few thorns
And together the garden grows and grows

go away.

(for now)

2006-07-31T21:26:00.000+08:00

people say, life is drama. it would be scary to see the things you watch on screen play itself out in your life, i think. its even scarier to know that these things do happen. imagine coming home one day and realising the past two years of your life has been a lie. then you'll be left wondering how many other years of ypur life has been a lie too.

but people move on, become smarter and grow resilient.

a cliche.

-life is a satire.

roach attack.

2006-07-30T20:41:00.001+08:00

the attack of the cockroach. that BIG and UGLY cockroach. i just reached home and was innocently keeping my earrings in my drawer and there it was. big and ugly and every bit menacing. and it was on the side of my bed. i repeat, on the side of my bed. arghh. i didn't know how to get the cockroach off so i asked dear old dad to come help me. baygon. human's best friend. the darned cockroach ran from one side of the bed to the other along the side of the bed. i freaked out. my dad sprayed insecticide again and guess what. it ran diagonally across my bed. ON my bed!! so smart. running diagonally. on my bed. cockroach + baygon. well done. then dear old dad took away the dead cockroach and left me to deal with my hysteria. goodness. i felt so violated. its an invasion of privacy. by a cockroach! and i was so tired and looking forward to sleeping. the bedsheets were fresh. and it was my favourite. arfgh.

anyways i love qixin. i love you girl. love love love. without you i think i would have sat on the chair and bawled till i got tired and fell asleep there. i love you!! thank you so much for understanding and sympathizing and listening to me ramble. i think someone should set up a counselling center for people who have had traumatising run-ins with cockroaches. or a helpline or sth. they have that for the victims of abuse right. well the cockroach abused its freedom of movement when it trespassed my personal space. my most sacred teritory.

alrights. i shall put the trauma behind me.

my money my $15 bucks bleagh. those tickets were reserved! okay but we were late. yea and we missed ch's performance. bleagfwdhh. so disappointing la. and js came just to support him. poor girl. poor us. the guitar was _________. i shall not comment.

till next time. bye.

-ewwwwwww.

2006-07-27T22:46:00.000+08:00

4 things.

#1) i had my hair cut. i had my hair cut! finally! woohoo!((: its short now. i like my bob of hair!(:

#2) it was supposed to rain today. the dark clouds gathered.. and nothing happened. sigh. i was hoping it will rain cos the weather these few days is disgusting. but its okay though. i love love love the just-about-to-rain weather.(:

#1.2) i had my hair cut!! *grins*

#3) i find it so irritating. the media just doesn't like us. what's wrong with you people?!
#!&*$#@!.

#4) mr tan conducts hilariously. but we respond, so its good i suppose. to be dramatic. lol. darren has to put on make up haha.

okay that's all. sorry for the randomness. i'm happy! bye!

-arn't we all to some extent exhibitionists?

2006-07-25T20:42:00.000+08:00

i want to cut my hair. want want want. and i will. oh yes i will. i just cant stand it anymore. there are so many 'holes' in my hair! asdgblawkeurylvbeac. and the hairdresser layered it until it looks so dry. okay. maybe i'm disillusioned. maybe my hair is dry. but what the heck. why cant the hairdresser just stop when she had it done nice. bleah. she's always doing the same thing. she'll cut until its great, then she'll want to "touch up". touch up until like this so holey pokey higgly moggly. whatever moggly and higgy means. i'll take 3 inches off my hair. 4. i'll cut it to a bob. hm actually why not. cut cut cut. snip snip snip.

ah the wonders of psychological therapy. but i'm really gonna cut my hair. i mean it. don't be a chicken cyn. you don't want to get bird flu. hurhur.

okay i'm in lame-mode right now. if only i could go into i-mode. hur.

oh zihua and francis were so cute during the pagent thing today. lol. okay not so much of francis but zihua. haha complete with belt and everything. which reminds me. that person going around taking photos of girls' skirts should be ___. okay u go fill in the blanks cos i dunno what ought to be done to him, but i just think that something should be done. i know its all for the good of society, but its just sounds like something someone pervertic will do.

yes. right, my dearest. didnt you ever wonder what went wrong? doncha? *turns and shakes bootie* no points for guessing it right, so here let me tell you. respect. as in R-E-S-P-E-C-T. ever wondered what _ _ _ happened to it? there. something for you to think about huh.

the tuts are beckoning.

man. just think abt it. everything will be over all too soon. and then after that....... *cues in dreamy music *

*PING! the bubble bursts* okay i shall not think abt it. my stomach hurts thinking about it.

so, back to tuts. sigh.

BYE.

-hong kong!!((:

2006-07-11T18:09:00.000+08:00

world cup finals. so we all decided to watch at zuoyi's place. trooped over to his house at ard after watching poc. watched a bit of wimbledon. that nadal guy was q good. mee siam and encountered cockroaches on the way back. yucks man. they just completely ran past zuoyi and daniel and headed for yiling and i. eww.

italy! yay go italy. the rest of the class supported france except for yawen zuoyi timothy and i. even though they know that italy will win. haha. but i think france played better thou. nvm. italy still won at the end! yay. and what on earth was zidane doing la. it was like so random. and to end his career with a red card. sad. freaking sleepy and after that everyone (well most of everyone) just crashed out on the couch. and ms louisa shifted so much!! argh. couldnt sleep. it was quite interesting to see everyone transform from world cup mode into school mode. and it was nice walking out of zy's house tgt early in the morning wearing the same uniform. and know what. i never reach school at 720 before, except for fridays and it isn't the same cos we had to play the national anthem and victorian anthem for the school. friday mornings are just like super early band pracs. and i'm often late. ahas. so, imagine me in school at 720 in the morning. how cool is that man. woots!

oh ya. speaking of friday mornings, the j1s changed the national and victorian anthem. which i thought was not too bad. at least, not that bad. and a certain someone had to do his usual stuff. i mean, what on earth do you mean they were totally off? "that was like, totally off." helloo you were the one who was totally off okay. you are truly a piece of shit. ten hundred thousand pieces of shit.

soccer for pe. man i suck at soccer. haha. quite funny. i just stood there and became an obstruction. and the guys arn't supposed to tackle us. the stoopiid ball hit me twice. but then again, i was supposed to be an obstruction so i guess i was doing my job pretty well? haha. waihan is a damn good goalkeeper! anyhows soccer sapped me of all the energy i had left. actually coming to think of it i held up pretty well throughout the math lect and chem tut that morn. wahas. but what the heck. thank goodness had half day. went home and slept till dinner. then tried to do work but nth went in. basically i did nth but sleep. yuks. so disgusting. i thought my stamina was better. argh. i'm just getting fat. i can do nth but run. sheesh. and my grades suck.

there's 49 more days to prelims. to gp prelims. they're trying to cheat us huh. and i'm dying for cip hours. someone help me!

!#*%^$%*&$!*&%$#%

-i should just self decapitate.

2006-07-04T22:25:00.000+08:00

i saw mandy today! haha. was walking along the st pat's canal under the freaking hot, hot, HOT sweltering sun when i saw her. her sister looked freakingly like her. haha. apaarently they were cycling their way to ecp. yay so long never see her alr. seeing her reminds me of all those s31 memories man. which also reminds me that i havent met all of them in like what. a year? chelle and kelly and arlene and chin soon and junrong and ariffin and all those peeps.

great hair day eh(:

all hail the toilet gang.

9.40am breaks at uncle louise's

the amazing ariffin.

went running just now. havent ran in 74685911432 years and it felt good. although my stamina sucks. bleah. and ms zihua still wants me to run marathon with her?! hm.

okay these past two days have been disgustingly melodramatic. if i ever attempt to do that again someone pls slap me. alrights. that's all. till the next entry. BYE.

-i would like to think that two days per year is enough for anyone.

2006-07-03T11:39:00.000+08:00

i kept them, for reasons unknown. now i suspect that i've been keeping them all along for today. A tug on the heartstrings, a twist of nostalgia, the rusted lid pried free, and everything came spilling out on my lap.

were you really really that bored?

'when i asked him what kept a plane from falling out of the sky, he made me sit up and blow across the top of a paper napkin to see if rise like a flag in the wind. " when the air moves faster on the top of the wings than the bottom," he told me, "the plane lifts."

its all about pressure. when it comes at you from all sides equally, nothing moves. but if one side exerts more than the other, you might just find yourself in flight.'

-scoobydoo is so a thing of the past.

right?

2006-07-02T19:11:00.000+08:00

tkband won the best display band title again. the fifth time in a row. yay.(: even though i think they don't deserve to win. i think the whole standard has dropped. there was no magic, no sleekness, no anything. maybe they did jerk and spin, but it wasn't hard enough i suppose. the whole thing looked kind of sloppy. the whole competition is becoming like some dance competition with tk and bowen dancing. and deyi has professional dancers as flaggies. it like a see-who-has-the-most-props kind of thing. and tk well maybe tk won cos we had the biggest prop. and i think the most. heh. and so funny the bowen alumni sitting behind us thought bowen won the best drum major award just cos they saw the red feather on the drum major's beret. lol! anyway tkband won and i suppose that's enough. let's go on the win our sixth consecutive best display band award.(: so funny the bowen alumni were like not sad at all when they announced that the award went to tk. haha. i think they're sort of used to it. they havent had the chance to touch the trophy in 5 years. actually, it 10 years. cos 5x2. once in every 2 years. heh poor things.

england lost! brazil lost!! argh. obviously the world cup is not worth watching anymore. bye bye kaka. oh man. its such a pity. england really played their best without beckham and rooney. stupid rooney and his stupid temper. crouch reminded me of bambi trying to walk on ice haha. alrights shall not bitch about them anymore. pentalty shootouts are so unfair. argh.

tomorrow's youth day. so many outings. so many.

and i wonder, will you remember? will you?

heh i think i should slap myself for that.

You know, the moment they announced your name, my heart leaped. your name. you. i heard the commotion outside. i can imagine your joy. your pride. i wanted to congratulate you, to take your hand, and see that smirk on your face that's so part of you. i tried to get outside. i tried and panicked, before remembering that i cannot. that i'm not supposed to. instead, i can only look at you from a distance. keeping that straight face was one of the hardest things i had ever done. do you know? do you? maybe you weren't supposed to know. maybe, after all, that's the way things are.

-that's the way it is.

2006-06-27T14:22:00.000+08:00

it was a day ago. no. a week, a month, a year. two years. three.

some things never go away.

its rooted in your heart and mind, and you think about it, subconsciously, even though you don't want to.

some things never change.

-you claim to offer dreams, but i think they're better known as illusions.

2006-06-20T00:53:00.000+08:00

so, i'm establishing a pattern. wake up. study. lunch. study. eat/read. study. slp. what an interesting lifestyle. i'm sitting on my bum the whole day and getting FAT! and i was supposed to go running three times every week! *wails* argh. yet i can't complaint about not having a life, cos when you think about it, the whole thing boils down to me being a student. oh yea, i'm being a total student here. whether i'm being an effective one, that's debatable. but when u're running out of time, who cares right. argh. i'm not making sense here. there's like 6 more days and hundred more chapters.

shite.

-oh my. still lookin' cute, arnt you.(:

2006-06-04T22:18:00.000+08:00

this is a super late post, but majestia rocked. as in totally.(: there were more than a few compliments on our new world. haha. and varied opinions on with heart and voice. but on the whole, it rocked. thanks to all who came and supported and shame on those who didn't. haha. ( i'm looking at you, js. lol.)

oh yes, and the yr1s gave us nice presents. one of the best was the badge charissa gave us saying vjcbs flute'06. and we wore it during the concert. haha. oh the flute farewell video was a nice touch at the handover ceremony. real nice. thanks guys. and what was with the "maid crap"?! haha.

soccer match was awesome! woots! we won mj 4-2! yay. and the mj soccer guy faked injury la. gosh. damn obvious. in front of all the victorians too. but its okay. vj still won fair and square. haha. oh man. soccer matches are super exciting.

xmen is cool. toystory is not.

okays that's abt all i think. okays this is a really shitty post. sorry. but my brain isn't working. till next time then. BYE.

2006-05-21T17:05:00.000+08:00

its good to have a working cd player.(: i can't believe i was so stupid not to think of changing mine with my brother's. but anyways now i won't be starved of music and that's all that matters.((:

speaking of my brother, he was just made drum major. hmmm. i dunno what they see in him, but still, i'm more than a little proud of him. way to go, vin! haha.(:

Only You- the Flying Pickets.

Looking from a window above
It's like a story of love
Can you hear me
Came back only yesterday
We're moving farther away
Want you near me
All I needed was the love you gave
All I needed for another day
And all I ever knew
Only you

Sometimes when I think of your name
When it's only a game
And I need you
Listen to the words that you say
It's getting harder to stay
When I see you
All I needed was the love you gave
All I needed for another day
And all I ever knew
Only you

All I needed was the love you gave
All I needed for another day
And all I ever knew
Only you

All I needed was the love you gave
All I needed for another day
And all I ever knew
Only you

This is gonna take a long time
And I wonder what's mine
Can't take no more
Wonder if you'll understand
It's just the touch of your hand
Behind the closed door

All I needed was the love you gave
All I needed for another day
And all I ever knew
Only you

2006-05-15T22:57:00.000+08:00

i've had enough. i'm more than ready to tear the friggin friggin NMR notes into small small tiny little pieces and flush them down the toilet bowl. argh.

flush flush flush! ahh. psychological therapy.

Hot damn. Artem and melissa's paso doble is reaally good. rarr.

-and so i keep telling myself, 6 more months.

random stuffs.

2006-05-12T23:35:00.000+08:00

a few days ago during pc lesson mr harris was talking about te differences between texts written in old english and modern english. one was classical references, ie. they refer to the moon Diana instead of well, moon. that's for the romans. i've came across such text, but the greeks seem to be different. i mean, i've never read anything going like, " O Cynthia, how dost thou shine so brightly in the velvety night skies." or sth like that right.

the greeks are so biased.

haha. okays this was just a random thought. and my pc lesson was on tuesday, so you can see how slowly my brain works. oh wells.

--

i can't help but feel suspicious. argh. well it isn't my fault. i did try. but i guess it jsut wasn't good enough. nth's ever good enough, i suppose.

--

i lost a book a few weeks ago. or maybe it had been months. there was this sudden urge to find that book and read it, so i hunted it down in my cupboard and found out that it wasn't there. looked everywhere but i still couldn't find it. argh. its so sad. its such a sad thing losing a book, and it was a good book with a real good beautifully woven plot. sigh.

i am just wondering how nice it would be if i had all the money in the world and be able to buy any book as and when i want to.

damn. its really tempting. hmmm. *grins optimistically* maybe i should try to do so!(: i'm off to sleep! BYE!((:

- the keyword here is acception.

(:

2006-05-10T22:03:00.000+08:00

again i'm feeling that sense of inferiority. i've tried and tried and tried until i got to a point where i can't even be bothered to try anymore. obviously i got guilty but somewhere along i've made peace with myself and told myself its okay. but now i find that i'm not as indifferent as i thought was. and its starting to bug me. argh i really hate this. i don't know why but i feel so cheated. okays this is starting to sound funny. i shall just stop.

my thighs are aching. damn. but i'm really amazed at myself. i'm really surprised that i could pull that off with the amount of exercising i've done and all the chocolates and ice creams and whatever that i've eaten. goodness. anyhows, i won't want to do that again. stupid goh(was it goh?) made us sit on the track and talk and talk so much until the adrenaline almost killed me. anws, NAPFA isn't over yet. i really hope i pass my sit and reach and inclined. sheesh.

something random. on my way home just now i saw this truck transporting kawai pianos. then i suddenly remembered that my piano at home is second hand and that my dad promised to get a first hand one for me if i passed grade4. i passed grade4, grade5, grade6, took grade8, failed grade8, and still no first hand piano. hmph.

okays this is really random. haha.

section jts is this friday evening and daniel's birthday celebration is this friday evening too. and mother's day dinner is also on this friday. which means no jts and no smashing cake on daniel or whatsoever tgt with the class. sigh. nvm. i'll leave that to charissa. lol.

i'm so broke. 40 bucks altogether for all the lit plays. and they are using modern english! and singaporean context. what rubbish. and 20 bucks for choir concert.

vjcsb presents majestia. tickets at $10 each. 26th may 730pm at vjc performance theatre. please come! and tell me if you want tickets.(:

okays that's all for now. till then! BYE(:

updatee.

2006-04-15T20:41:00.000+08:00

it has been a long time. i've been trying to catch up on work. and, sad to say, that whole pile of work still remains. i have yet to properly sit down and get them done. which is of ccourse, terrible. if i remain like this, i'm not gonna make it. argh. study, cyn. 'tis terrible.

okays. a few quick updates.

my first quick reading ( if it could be considered so) through Beloved left me utterly confused. i didn't know what the book was talking about, and so i condemned the book as hopeless and unreadable. but now, i realise that the book isn't that bad after all. its actually quite interesting. i didn't know that the numbers 124 could hold such significance. i truly am surprised. but still, argh. i'm not done ploughing through the book. and although the beginning of the book is starting to make sense to me now, and reading the first 100 plus pages on board is all very well, i still don't know how i'll make it through the book.

apparently the school did not do as well for pw as the previous year. i don't know how they grade us, but still, i think that the certain someone didn't deserve his grades. i'm certain that the certain someone did not deserve his grades. i mean, he didn't even know when was op until like, the day before op. argh.

i'm broke. really broke. and next sat is the outdoor syf. and tk will get gold, and we're supposed to treat the juniors. rarr. i really hope we will be able to escape the national stadium before they demand their treat. haha. anws, good luck to them. i hope they won't drop anything on the field or whatsoever.(:

okays. i can't really rmb what happened for the past two weeks. was it two weeks? or one? no matter. i can't rmb. oh yes. soccer matches are exciting. yay the season is starting!! i love watching soccer matches.(:

anyhows, i'm gg off. its gonna be quite some time before i update again, i reckon. kay that's all. mahalo!

-the ghosts of the past. and i believed it to be over.

GOLD

2006-04-01T13:38:00.000+08:00

alooha! so i came back from hawai'i last night. its quite an interesting trip. ahas. i'm still not used to singapore. the weather especially. i keep on thinking i've got a fever. and all the small stuffs, like turning on the tap to hot, cos hawaii was cold most of the time, esp in the morning. there's actually not much to shop there, and i was kinda shocked that i spent like, almost all my money. oh yes, and the most important thing of all, we got GOLD. ahas. the adjudicators gave us amazingly high marks. its like gold with double honours la. hoho. so proud of us. the american bands and the australian bands i think were only so so. quite lousy la in fact. but the japan band was wow. the soloists were real good. i really liked the sax solo. super impressed. but then again, they are a select band and the oldest member is like, 40 plus years old? haha. i think the double bass player is cute, though. he's so short! i think he looked somewhat like a gnome. hohoho.

korea was okay too. although we only spent 14 hrs there, it felt like a week. the poor st pat's guys. spent their 14 hrs in the airport. don't know how they survived, man. but anws, they're not the point.

i don't know if its the excitment or the leaving behind of school work and all that stress or what, but the section became lively and super retarded and rubbish-y. haha. i think this trip bonded our section closer. go flutes! haha.(:

i still want to shop in ala moana! and the beaches are real beautiful. i'm gonna miss the beach. the sun had to come out when we were leaving hawai'i. argh irritating. it rained like everyday while we were there and the sun was shining when we loaded the buses with our luggage. speaking of luggages, i almost couldn't close mine. haha.

i think the semiformal event sucked. there were 3 americans 2 australians 1 jap at my table. i think the jap girl is super pretty. and i think that the 3 americans were the dumbest of all. they were all girls and fat and ugly. and worse, they were super shallow. qixin huimin and i didn't talk to them at all, but just by listening to them conversing with the australians, i felt like slapping them. they looked down on everyone else. i mean, ya, obviously they will, cos no matter what there will definately be some prejudice. but still, they were so shocked that there was starbucks in australia it was funny. i think they will fall off their seats if qixin hiumin and i spoke to them in complete english sentences or sth. but other than that disasterous event everything else was okay. i'm gonna miss all the pigging out at night.

actually i think the band did okay only. the florentiner march could be better. but still, we got our gold! and it was a freaking good gold, i must add. haha, right. so other than the fact that i was sick throughout, i think the trip was considerably good? hoho. alrights. that's all! i'm getting drowsy from the cough mixture. bye!

2006-03-22T23:23:00.000+08:00

i'm gonna rant and grumble. you're warned.

i'm tired. and the trip to hawaii is also getting tired. so ma fan la. i almost don't feel like gg already. the horrible semi formal event. i don't have a blouse and a skirt that one would "wear to work". and i don't want to buy. and i'm so tired alr i don't want to go crack my head trying to conjure up something to wear. arghh. and i have yet to pack my stuff. everytime i try to pack, my room gets messier and messier. and my luggage remains clean. goodness. i think my luggage is cursed. i can never pack anything into it. and there are still many other things to be done, like mr ho's essay. he wants it on firday. after all, its already nearly a month overdue. ahhh!! and the physics and math tutorials. i absolutely don't feel like studying. this is horrible.

on a lighter note, i'm gonna bring beloved to read on board. at least i'll force myself to read it! haha. okays. that's all. i'm gonna go and try to pack my luggage.(: