My sweet charade.

`my swirls-*

Monday, April 30

i want to have my hair cut. i NEED to have my hair cut cut cut cut cut.

okay driving time.

`swirl me away
2:19 PM

`my swirls-*

Sunday, April 29

i must confess that i'm a brown paper freak. i so love brown paper; brown paper bags, brown paper envelopes and brown whatnots. brown paper leaves an impression on me.

so having said that, you must know that i totally love NUS because its envelope is so so so much more beautiful than the NTU one. (heh sorry but i only have these two to compare.)

sheesh. talk about underhand methods. they're trying to win brownpaperfreaks over with brown paper. haha! *kisses the NUS envelope*

--

vas and pris won the dance floor competition. yay i like vas and pris.(:

--

life these few days is gonna be all about laptops. i shall not wait for the next IT fair. wahaha.

okay i'm outta here.

i hope i get my laptop real soon! haha. :D

BYE!

`swirl me away
11:10 PM

`my swirls-*

Thursday, April 26

i knew it wasn't on purpose and its most probably one of the mindless things you do, but it hit home.

damn, but it hurts when some ppl who are supposed to know you don't. worse, they put you under stereotypes. even worse, i'm classified under the air-headed, rich, wimpy, bubblegum pink, all hearts and flowers, sugar-daddy-hunting, money-lovin', money hunting, and, i hate to say this,stupid category. it stinks, and before you join forces with this certain person and say aye, i shall let you know that no, i do not own a single pair of designer sunglasses the only pair i own is the eight or six dollar pair i bought in hongkong, and its fake. i do not own clothes costing above 70 bucks except for the two prom dresses i have. i have no Gucci, Chanel, Armani, Prada, and, i don't know, true religion? hanging in my closet. i do not own all the accessories there are to own in the world. i do not live and die for money, and i am not stupid. ( fine i see you throwing my results in my face but i do have some smarts okay.) but why am i even saying this? i already come with a label in your head.

deep down inside, you belittle me and look at me with disdain. don't ask me how i know. it takes one to know one. (yes i speak of your one thousand and one faults, but because i know that's just the way you are, i don't put (my) words into your mouth, unlike you.)

--

i can't believe i'm actually trying to prove myself and being so childish via blog, but you bet this is the last time i'm going to do this.

YOU. i had enough, god dammit. you stop thinking and believing and treating me like i'm a freaking. walking. Paragon.

`swirl me away
7:33 PM

`my swirls-*

Wednesday, April 25

after a two year's hiatus, it has come back to haunt me, this blind man's game. i never did like playing it, even when i was young. i'm wary, i'm exhausted, and i'm tired of having to do these things alone. its closing in, getting claustrophobic. plans laid out and discussed, plans for the future, plans that were supposed to work out are all bull now, and i'm on the verge of panic. ha who am i kidding. panic is well on its way to full-blown terror.

but i suppose life will have it no other way, huh. some things are just meant to be done alone.

--

there's this ntu biz thing this sun, and i know no one else who is going. argh. why does ntu have to be situated at some far, godforsaken place its furthur than my aunt's place and i have not visited her since sec two because she stays in freaking jurong. arghh this is stupid stupid stupid.

heh. life's a hoot.

`swirl me away
12:45 PM

finally, a practical test date.(:

`swirl me away
2:44 AM

`my swirls-*

Sunday, April 22

this is going to be a trashy post. i'm riled up, forgive me.

a weird day. today was one of those times when you get out of bed not feeling yourself and the day starts off too fast for you to catch up. its like travelling at 15km/h in fourth gear. and then when you feel that you could bum along quietly for at least the next say, 15 hours, the day takes a turn for the worse. before you attempt suicide (or in my case kick the national library's door), it suddenly becomes good, or maybe as good as it can get, since there's no way i'm gonna be secured a place in nus law. its all the weirder when my day mainly revolves around one issue. one main issue. one big main issue.

so anyway, i got out of bed in a somewhat weird mood, cos i have auto self-psycho-ing mechanism that kicks in full gear when i wake up grouchy. the day began dipping during breakfast, when mummy announced that nus law is a goner and qixin called and said the fac only entertains three As. right. so byebye nus law, now and forever. forgive me if i'm abit bitter abt it, but they cheated me, those cuckoos. (i was under the impression that gp grades were more impt.) ah well. give me some time. i'm grieving. hehheh.

alrights moving on. i made the huge error of donning jeans and was late for my trial test. yay i didn't fail any papers, so it was good. i was practically starving when it ended, and the aunty at the cdc cafeteria refused to sell me fish fillet. sigh. after that it was parkway and a good and sinful lunch. hiked about abit (my heels made me feel like i was hiking. i'm in a freaking desperate need of new, comfortable and breath-able heels) under the stupid sun. i was melting when i reached the bus stop. napped and watched abit of spiderman after that, before taking cab with wei to smu for his interview. i was supposed to go to the national library in the meantime but guess what. i got lost and after trekking all the way to the nanyang academy of fine arts and back to smu twice and working up a rage, i found my way to ps in the vile, vile, vile weather. great. i almost froze (it must be the result of being ard guys a guy too much. i almost typed 'my balls off'. haha!) to death in ps.

well the good thing is, i did get to the national library, by train and after a mos shake and a croquette. and. i borrowed the max number of books my card allowed me to. ahh. book therapy. oh. in my delight i forgot to kick the library's door, but ah well. i can always do it the next time. haha.

right. after reaching home i found out that ntu sent me a letter, and so marks the start of the grueling debate of ntu biz vs nus biz (if nus takes pity on me and gives me my second choice, that is.) sheesh. but a relief, anyway. i thought ntu biz required an interview. but anyhows, there's back up now! yay! haha.(: who cares about nus law, anyway. bahh.

okay phew. its all out. alrights i'm off to read. BYE.(:

`swirl me away
12:25 AM

`my swirls-*

Thursday, April 19

my grades aren't that bad. right? er. right.

there's always nus biz. right.

so i should stop being so paranoid and just shut up, right? yea damn right, and about time too.

--

after too many rights, Right is starting to look funny. what is r-i-g-h-t, anyway. letters placed together. i would say random letters placed together, but etymologists armed with historical texts would come knocking on my door and then render me unconscious with a thick dictionary. hehh.

now you look at me (or the screen) funny, but maybe only those who find the word 'sad' sad, who feel like weeping (silently) and wailing (loudly) together with the respective words, and who do not keep (or increase) their distance from me when i tell them 3,5,7 are decidedly male numbers and 2,4,8 are female numbers would understand.

the results of slacking at home.

`swirl me away
1:05 PM

`my swirls-*

Tuesday, April 17

the 5th.(:

tkband got silver for this year's syf. strangely there wasn't sadness. a pinch of disappointment, more of gladness, and mostly there was something edging the boundaries of pity. it really is a pity that they weren't able to be able to defend the title of being a gold band, both indoor and outdoor. that's 2 years of indoor golds they let down. there wasn't much disappointment, cos maybe deep down i've already expected it and knew they were not going to make it. ah, conceit. heh. it really is a good thing they fell short this time. at least maybe now they'll buck up and start fighting to stay at the top. all i hope for is that they don't fall short of their outdoor standards too. if they do, the band that gets the best display band's going take along with them the 6 years (or more) of tkband best display band glory. ah, woe.

that aside, i met a few tkband ppl in parkway on sat. the used-to-be-sec-1s. linda, cheryl, cherie, yexi and a few other ppl i only recognise by sight. its good to see the juniors and it was really quite gratifying to know that i'm remembered, as well as the time i took them for drills at the side of the field. those were the times, huh. man.

on a lighter note, i finally went swimming on sat! okay maybe it was more of splashing around, but no matter. i love the water.((:

driving is becoming more fun. and yes i finally went on the road yesterday.(: driving at a faster speed really is easier than driving slow and in the circuit. oh heh and this reminded me of the driving lesson on sat when i was overtaking a car in the circuit. in all my haste and excitement, i -haha- swapped the windscreen wiper for the left signal. and furthermore this happened in the face of an oncoming car. gosh. and. i was laughing so hard my instructor had to steer the wheels for me, meaning when i was back in course the windscreen wiper was still wiping furiously away. man how embarrassing is that. but then, it was such a priceless moment. haha!

alrights enough of stupid and embarrassing moments (of which somehow are on the rise these few days, featuring yours truly).i shall go study my final theory handbook. trial test tmr!

--

here's to you.
thank you for standing by me and being there for me when i needed you most. thank you for understanding me, and knowing me better than i know myself.

"Love is just an abbreviation for everything we have ever wanted to say about that one person who truly means something to us, all wrapped up in a tiny four-letter box."

i love this. thank you for all that you've given me and shown me. i wouldn't trade these 5 months for anything else in the world. love!(:

--

yay its raining! i love rainy weather when i'm at home. haha. okay bye!(:

`swirl me away
2:22 PM

`my swirls-*

Friday, April 13

its raining and i'm at home, with my windows wide open.

:))

`swirl me away
1:43 PM

`my swirls-*

Wednesday, April 11

heh i had to post the 10 things before pulls another disappearing act on me.

so this is how not working on a weekday feels like. its woohoo! i get to finish reading a book, laze around in bed the whole day, eat instant noodles for lunch (luxury k. i love instant noodles), paint my toenails. and, i'm finally using the computer at home, after goodness knows how long. and the best part is that i'm finally free from having to look and listen to the laughter cackle from the respondent's witness. he's really so slick and oily and together with his balding head and pot belly he could fry all the dough in old chang kee. sheesh. talk about unsavory man.

okay i'm hungry. i'm off to find food. shall continue later. or maybe not. hehheh. k bye!

`swirl me away
5:19 PM

okay i did this yesterday but somehow it disappeared before i could even post it. sheesh. so here's another one.

You've been tagged....
Rule of the game:-Each player of this game starts off with 10 weird things or habits or little known facts about yourself. People who get tagged must write in a blog of their own 10 weird things or habits or little known facts as well as state this rule clearly. At the end you must choose 6 people to be tagged and list their names. No tagbacks!

1) alrights i don't know of this is wierd but i bounce on my seat when i'm happy or excited. a colleague caught me doing that back in the bank when they finally gave the go-ahead to dig into the buffet spread in the pantry. her look was priceless. haha. but at that point of time it was quite embarrassing. heh.

2) hm don't know why, but the blood in my face goes into overdrive every time. i blush very easily, even on non-blushable occasions. ohoh this was on the tv in the lift in Repulic Plaza. is appears that every time you blush, your stomach lining goes red as well. wahaha betcha didn't know that.(:

3) i love my bolster so much i talk to it and can't sleep without it. oh i love playing with the knots on the string on the bolster case too. hehheh. oh man i miss my bolster.

4) wei says that when i'm angry, i tend to be more articulate when i blog.

5) i took ballet lessons up to grade one when i was young, and i loved it. i was the captain during the exam and i still keep my little tutu and scarf. haha!

6) since i'm on the topic of dancing, i shall discolse the fact that i've always wanted to learn to dance, since sec3. the only thing stopping me is that i can't find a partner.
(wei this is a hint. haha!)

7) despite all, i have not been running or doing any exercise since my last attempt er last month. i'm such a pig. ah but it has been raining during the past few days, right. hehheh.

8) hm i suspect that i'm a bit of an elitist. oops. but then when you think about it, who isn't. okayokay but i'm not making any excuses for myself. hee.

9) i can be very bitchy. when i start, i don't stop. and the more the number of people bitching, the merrier i become. hehhehheh. but then most people know this already, non?

10) okay i'll like to address this one to the people of vjc 05S43. you guys allowed me to integrate and become a part of the class even though i'm a second intaker and gave me some really good two years. you all changed my life, in ways that perhaps only i know how. but whatever it is, i'll like to make it known that i'm really thankful for such wonderful classmates and friends. love you all.(:
oh and somehow i can't seem to find any fun in bridging anymore. must be the company. sheesh!

alrighty all 10 done.yay!(:

`swirl me away
4:41 PM

`my swirls-*

Monday, April 9

the bbq was good, and i think the chocolate fondue idea was brilliant. well, that is if it was more visible and not placed in a small corner. still, it was good, seeing how some people had changed and grown and matured.

its weird, the inconsistancies one can find in a person. really, you cannot judge one by how one appears. one's manner of speech is important, and the way one carries oneself. especially the way one carries oneself.

in truth, i've never felt so relieved and glad at the, uh, turn of events.

i say go, with my (ears') blessings.

hm.

it never fails to constantly amaze me, how we are totally worlds apart.

huh. maybe its time to do some soul searching.

-we're travelling on skewed parallel lines, i think, for now and for all eternity.

`swirl me away
1:28 PM

`my swirls-*

Wednesday, April 4

hm i really think army influences ppl. esp the way they speak, sounding like some chaogeng. i don't know if its only me, but somehow it seems as though they can only speak 5 words or less at one go. it was really amusing. hehhehheh.

the dinner at Flutes was good. yay creme brulee! haha. i'm proud of myself.(:

have i told you i love watching the two of you together? haha. you guys are soo cute, esp yang. hahaha!

:D!

`swirl me away
1:24 PM

`my swirls-*

Monday, April 2

the respondent's lawyer's getting very irrtating. but the only thing that pushes me to go on with this whole thing is, as Ariffin so succinctly puts it, the "sheer novelty" of it all. ah but maybe i should tone down my want-it-all attitude before i get into some serious trouble. sheesh.

on a side note, i really really like being distracted. haha!:D

alrights. back to the hearing. bye!

`swirl me away
1:41 PM