My sweet charade.

`my swirls-*

Wednesday, January 31

work, dinner, the phone, sleep. books whenever i can squeeze time in. life is a routine these few days.

okay this isnt the point of this post. i just need to think about something else to distract myself.

being a kaypo was never ever good, yes? so we should not give in to temptation. some things are better left as they are, untouched and unknown.

curiousity is said to have killed the cat.

my brain prefers to believe that not getting answers to his question was what that got the cat into trouble.

arghh resist resist resist. i shall resist. i shall not do anything. back to work and the top 100 borrowers cross checking part II.

hahaha i feel like sending out a advertisement for employment. mr hyde, anyone?

`swirl me away
2:02 PM

`my swirls-*

Monday, January 29

despite much precaution and sweat and effort and all, it still happened. after three weeks, i'm late for work. okay. i don't know if i should be proud of this but three weeks is 15 working days k. hmph. but i was late for 14 minutes and noone said anything. hmmmmm.......

hehhehhehheh.

enough of tempting thoughts, mehhehhehheh. *sneaky grin*. toookies. would like to mention that i bumped into jason last thursday. actually, more like walked towards him. haha. same old, same old. so anyway. meeting him for lunch today, just like how i met daddy for lunch on friday. man. lunches are getting interesting. i like the thought of having a lunch appointment. ooooh how exciting!((: hahaha.

oh oh dinners are exciting too wahaha. jap food, german food, mexican food and border's cafe. ah yes. and ruiqi! when are we meeting for dinner?(:

right. back to the top 100 borrowers part II.

- oh, my mountain resort holiday.(:

`swirl me away
9:22 AM

`my swirls-*

Wednesday, January 24

Woohoo! raise in pay, babeh, raise in pay! although $6.50/hr is not much difference and i sorta requested for the increase, it sure feels good knowing that you are praised, esp from unexpected people. now that i didn't ask for. but i'm not that i'm complaining in any way. they can praise all they want. haha!

YESS.((:

`swirl me away
3:40 PM

i'm back on the positively (negatively?) disgusting cough mixture again, and its making me uber drowsy. took its last night before bed and was still feeling drugged when i woke up this morn. gosh.

sleep's calling out to me again but i shouldn't and wouldn't succumb, unless i want sleep on the job (literally) and get file cuts all over my forehead. which are freaking painful. they're worse than paper cuts, which you don't even notice until you wash your hands or sth. you actually feel and see yourself getting cut by the files, spreading the blood around and all.

oh speaking of work, i did ot till 8 yesterday. hah i feel so proud of myself. and. the nice lady Janice of HR is trying to help me raise my pay to 6.5/hr! so nice.((:

the cough/flu bug is spreading around in the office like, well, a bug. everyone's sick, and somehow i feel like it all started out with me. ahh guilt.

--

working life is really different from the life of your average student.

--

the train passes a cathedral. catching a glimpse of it, he halts mid-grumble about his packed weekends filled with back-to-back appointments to his companion, crosses himself, says a quick prayer.

it makes you wonder if this is all there is to life.

`swirl me away
11:10 AM

`my swirls-*

Monday, January 22

so the weekend's come and gone.

bid adieu to personal whims and fancies. enter routine.

file 14, 14.F1, 14.F2, 15, 16 from cabinet 1 goes to cabinet 2.

shift 53.F1, 53.F2, 53.F3 from shelf 2 to shelf 3.

and 95.F1, 95.F2, 96, blah blah blah, so on and so forth..., 110.F1, 111 goes to cabinet 6.

apparently there's no cabinet 6. ho hum. well done. Linda The Supervisor tells me to work my way to cabinet 5, then try to hide the other files in some other place till they find housing. ha.

i think i'm getting motion sickness.

-whee~! you make my head spin.

`swirl me away
4:35 PM

`my swirls-*

Friday, January 19

friday's dress down day. hm everyone looks abit wierd in jeans. oh wells. the weekend's here!

okay. sentimental today, so. to the same few people, hey. thank you for the two best years of my life.(:

ahh i miss school. whenever i take the train home and see ppl in e vj uniform i'll feel so.. left out, so forlorn. school has become a been there, done that, kind of thing. which i definitely don't like. i want to be part of things again! sheesh i really miss school. i miss the class too! i can imagine all of us working at fish and co, courtesy of ms louisa choo. i can see zihua and janice and __ alr haha. bah. dang.

time, life's one and only constant.

ah. sweet, sweet, irony.

-in 10 hours.

`swirl me away
10:22 AM

`my swirls-*

Wednesday, January 17

the drink vending machine in the office pantry is amazing. oh man. i think i've found a new reason to come to work.

two more days. blearghh its driving me crazy.

`swirl me away
1:23 PM

Wednesday, January 17. yay i like.(:

hey love!

-you're a song written by the hands of god.

`swirl me away
9:42 AM

`my swirls-*

Monday, January 15

Three and a half days more.

Okay maybe its four, but aish. What the heck.

-"The star for which all evenings wait."

`swirl me away
11:11 PM

`my swirls-*

Saturday, January 13

life and its happenings don't fit and fall perfectly into broad categories, every circumstance is different. the things deemed right by one, to the world, could be seen as a grieve misgiving. usually a person does things in which he thinks are right, and more often than not, with a good, sound reason. a person whose actions are condemned by the world. the world sees his actions as a wrongdoing, but when you think about it, surely what he did was not wrong, given his reason and circumstance. the challenge lie in even bothering to accept what he deems as right.

hmm.

`swirl me away
6:49 PM

always reminds me of you.

The Way You Look At Me-Christian Bautista

[Intro:]
No one ever saw me like you do
All the things that I could up to
I never knew just what a smile was worth
But your eyes say everything without a single word

[Chorus:]
'Cause there's somethin' in the way you look at me
It's as if my heart knows you're the missing piece
You made me believe that there's nothing in this world I can't be
I never know what you see
But there's somethin' in the way you look at me

If i could freeze some moment in my mind
Be the second that you touch your lips to mine
I'd like to stop the clock, make time stand still
'Cause baby, this is just the way I always wanna feel

[Chorus:]
'Cause there's somethin' in the way you look at me
It's as if my heart knows you're the missing piece
You made me believe that there's nothing in this world I can't be
I never know what you see
But there's somethin' in the way you look at me

[Bridge:]
I dont know how or why I feel different in your eyes
All I know is it happens everytime

[Chorus:]
'Cause there's somethin' in the way you look at me
It's as if my heart knows you're the missing piece
You made me believe that there's nothing in this world I can't be
I never know what you see
But there's somethin' in the way you look at me

The way you look at me

-"So put your hand in the hand of mine, and we'll spread this love like dandelions."

`swirl me away
2:19 PM

`my swirls-*

Friday, January 12

okay blogger is screwed up. i cant edit my posts. gahh whatever.

oh work was bad. i had to do the filing twice, as if playing musical cabinets with 110 files once wasnt enough. and the first time was just so that they could fake the ppl checking the cabinets and pass the test. it also didnt help that the irritating ppl keep on koping my files bahh. but its all part of the job so i shouldnt complaint. but man. i had like the most number of filecuts and scratches on my fingers and arms than i ever had in my whole life.

stepped into thousand and one puddles of water and my heels and pants were totally wet. eww la. and so cold. but then it will just mean a new pair of heels. wahaha! i likee.

oh this super nice guy in the train made my morning.(:

uh sorry if its all complaints but blearghh. my throat's scratchy and i cant seem to catch up with my nose. boo. i want you! *wails.

three-going-on-four, then there're seven more to go. friday. boy oh boy can't wait.

-hey honey turkey of mine.

`swirl me away
11:04 PM

`my swirls-*

Thursday, January 11

isn't it true. everything boils down to pride. misunderstandings and problems. but it also prevents people from being reduced to a lump of quivering, gibbering, unrecognisable mess during rough times and send people scampering to salvage whatever that's left of their sanity and hold on to the last bit of it.

i've always thought that it holds people together.

you wonder how some just forgo it so easily.

some argue that the cause is worthy.

you wonder by what standards is worthy considered worthy. you realise that everything is tilted towards you and the worthiness of the cause can only be judged by others.

so. away with pride. maybe all that matters is knowing where the line is drawn and learning to draw it when you need to. the line that marks the region where you lose it all and the region where you don't lose it all, ie. just some. which is good enough.

well. just some ramblings. dont say duh. ignore it if it doesnt makes sense to you.

i'm tired and abit cranky.

okay i lied. i'm more than abit cranky. a little more than abit. hehheh oh no i think i'm getting delirious.

okay update about work.

i almost died at the fax machine today.

The Way I Do - Marcos hernandez

your kiss, your smile, your mind
you're sunlight in my eyes
i miss your breath on my neck
when we whisper in the night

didn't wanna want you
didn't wanna need you so bad
didn't wanna wake up
and find that i was falling so fast
didn't wanna need you
didn't wanna need anyone
now look what you've done

now i can't go on without you
i'm naked, i cant fake it.
i'm not that strong without you
never thought i could love you the way i do.

your touch, your skin, can't believe the way you let me in
don't rush tonight, i need you like the ocean needs the tide.

didn't wanna want you
didn't wanna need you so bad
didn't wanna wake up
and find that i was falling so fast
didn't wanna need you
didn't wanna need anyone
now look what you've done

now i can't go on without you
i'm naked, i cant fake it.
i'm not that strong without you
never thought i could love you the way i do.

i always thought i would stand on my own
climb a mountain top all alone
relying, depending on no one
now look at what you've done

now i can't go on without you
i'm naked, i cant fake it.
i'm not that strong without you
never thought i could love you the way i do.

never thought i could love you
never thought i could need you
never thought i could want you
the way i do

never thought i could love you
never thought i could need you
never thought i could want you
the way i do

i love you
i need you
i want you
..the way i do
(x2)

`swirl me away
12:15 AM

`my swirls-*

Sunday, January 7

is it truly just me, or is it the workings of an overactive, overly engaged imagination, or is it the dire result of the strict-to-a-fault conformation to a stereotyped attitude and mindset?

bah. i really dont know. dont know what to make of it, dont know what to do with it, dont know what to do about it, dont know how to go about doing it. argh.

i've been living in the clouds. good morning, starshine. the earth says hello. then, crash crash bang bang.

shoot me.

-excuse me i assumed

`swirl me away
9:13 PM

`my swirls-*

Friday, January 5

hey 2007.

okay i've finally gotten down to blogging. first entry of year 2007, and 5 days late. ah lazy la. oops hehe. alrights so first things first.

2006 has been an interesting year for me. i remember starting the year with exuberance that stems from the giddiness of having experienced pure liberation and freedom. hey you. i hope you grew up.

hawaii. i've always wanted to visit it and i've finally got the chance to, and with almost the whole of the band, no less. the joy at having achieved such marks during the Pacific basin music festival was woohoo! we wanted the gold and we did it. truly, with heart and voice.(:

then majestia. ah that might be my last concert, but at least it was a good one.
to the flautists of vjcsb: thank you so much for all the wonderful moments. i thought i started off my term in vjcsb badly in june 2005 when i screwed up fiesta by the gardens, ( i cant really rmb what it is called. i think its fiesta by the gardens. hee.) but thank you for not judging me based on that. well, at least, i hope no one did. haha. i had really really great fun with you people, although i can be bhb abit and say that i think all the fun in the section really started when qixin joan and i joined the section. teehee. andrew had to put up with all our urging for section lunches and section outings, but its all worthwhile okay. our section came out strong and as the only section to have a cheer. okay fine. the first section to come out with a cheer and an anthem. yay the flute cheer and the flute anthem! haha. love each and every one of you flautists, from andrew to zy to timothy to qiyan to huimin to darren to valerie to peizhen, and esp charissa, with all the lame and funny moments we shared, sharing a stand and file. crossfire, eh? haha, cease fire already la. hehheh!

okay enough of band.

05S43. 2006 was the year that we really got closer together as a class. i loved all the times and different sessions we had together, be it bridging sessions, mugging sessions, chillout sessions, bitching sessions or random photo taking sessions. hehhehheh my personal favourite sessions are the bitching sessions. muwahaha *rubs hands in glee :D i really cant thank you guys enough for opening up and allowing me to integrate into the class, with me being a second intaker and all. but really, the times i had with you guys were absolutely rad. since i dont want to sound like a spoilt machine repeating thank yous to everyone, i shall just group ppl tgt. hopefully that covers almost everyone.

my lovely fellow bridge-ers ( janice, chiewshan, cam, darren and occasionally peifang). you guys are really a big part of my life in school. i think all the breaks would be insufferable without you ppl. haha. love each and every one of you for being there, bridging with me. haha. oh and those asshole daidi times, in which i will forever be stuck being the asshole, with no hope of ever redeeming myself. haha. bridge on, people! ah my fingers are itchy now. it has been too long since i last bridged! bleagh.

the pw group (yiling, peifang, daniel, bomb.. and jx?). aha so much happened during our pw sessions, from our flow-chart convo with companies to our stayover, bookclub, thank-you-daniels, and the chronicles of __. i still laugh when i see colourful striped shorts haha. oh wells. know that we're the best group. love you all.

the lit ppl (zihua, cam, pf, janice). yoohooo. we love lit and we love mr harris. (janice, you're a sick woman HAHA). we love pretz, hate (most of ) paper 3 and mr gay. down with mr gay!

the going out people (louisa, zuoyi, chincheong, daniel, darren, karfu, yawen, chiewshan, francis, peimin, timothy, yiling, cam, zihua). missed all the gatherings we have at zuoyi's house. (esp since its so near wahaha). there was world cup finals, the pizza gathering, and many other random gatherings. x-men and narnia. those times we went out to eat after school too, and the plans to go the expensive-jap-restaurant-in-suntec. the one in which the name starts with K. aha. oh yes. the class sports day and all. the times in the tree house. i somehow still see daniel holding a banana in hand and bouncing on the bridge looking uncannily like a monkey for a second. okay. for many seconds haha. thanks for those wonderful times, really really.(:

hongkong. ahhh. my first time going overseas just with friends. i loved all your company, the 13 of us. all the times shopping till late in the night, teasing each other and photo whoring. i seem to have no words to describe the whole trip, except perhaps wonderful. and that i think is an understatement. oh okay i might add that the trip was filled with rewards. cliche, i know, but after the trip we seem to have more new things to..... talk about. hahaha. total revelations and confessions eh. muwahahaa.

qixin. hey girl. thank you for going through so much (and i really mean muchMUCH) with me. i thank god that i have you. i know you love me. haha!(:

joan. i love you girl.(:

xiwei. it was so wierd and so unbelievable, but we made it. but then again, we always do. haha. weeeow, there's not much to say, except that you fill me with happiness that threatens to bubble over, and that you make everything that was wrong right, or seem right. you really are nothing short of my everything. thank you for being you, wei, and for just being.(:

okay now i think i should send my love to some of the people directly. hey qixin, joan, louisa, peifang, charissa, xiwei, thank you all for being there. love!(:

--

alrighty now. new year was fun. went sizzlers, then chijmes for the countdown, before walking all the way to xiwei's house from there. haha. messy, muddy business, i tell you. pretty much ruined a pair of favourite heels. aw man. anyhoos, i had the loveliest morning. oh oops did i say morning i meant day. i had the loveliest day, which includes morning, evening, night, and dawn. *BIGsmile. hehe!:D

--

ah yes. i have to announce this. i'm finally employed, everyone!

i seriously dont know how to react when the lady from the agency called. i'm naturally happy that i got a job, because although its 6 bucks per hour, its still money. but the job starts monday, so that means i'll have to forfeit crashing sea regetta and watch people get dunked, and half a day with the class, and most importantly, half a day with xiwei. ahhh!! and he's going in on tues. oh whywhywhy. louisa ask me to take leave but i think if i ask they'll most prob ask me to take leave for the rest of the days la ha thanks. first day of work how to take leave?! boo. okay anyway today has been mainly a mish mash of emotions. a total roller coaster ride. not a very nice feeling. oh well. anyhoos, after much irritation and frustration caused by the nagging, i've finally gotten down to sorting out and putting the things sitting on my table in order, but that doesnt mean i've already packed up my room, cos i've got to remove those things on my table completely. bahh.

i need to shop for office wear!

my mom complaints that the font size i use is too small, so i shall increase the size.

alrighty its getting late. i shall stop here. till then!

-sweeter than srawberries, more perfect than peaches.(:

`swirl me away
9:18 PM