`my swirls-*
Tuesday, September 26

life is interesting, fascinating. amazing. intriguing. ironic. wierd.

its a freaking labyrinth.

memories. ah now that's another bloody tricky fella. rememories too, huh.

hurhur.

i really love stay-at-home days.

enjoy being creeped out by thrillers.

the mosquito bites are driving me crazy.



-an exquisite extreme.

`swirl me away
2:31 PM

`my swirls-*
Sunday, September 24

was reading through my old entries when i came across this.


" sometimes people just see what they want to see. they call this self-delusion.

so yea.

i tink you're self-delusioned, and i don't know how you managed to drag so many people into this affair.

gong xi fa cai.

you're just so lame. really.

this sounds like some elaborate plan in which you've driven a dozen holes into the fabric of it yourself.

it sounds like some movie in which the glamorous opening appears to take you into the heart of the show. the cameras start rolling, and you see the conclusion. act one scene one, WHAM! you're thrown back to earth. open your eyes to reality. the people and scenery look like paper cut-outs. the plot falls flat.

ditto. and you're the director of your own movie. and in your own paradise. knock knock. hello? anyone home? or have you rented out that space?

i know it is horrible of me to gloat, and i'll most probably get huge blisters on my tongue/fingers for this, but..

i feel like a million bucks right now, in cold, hard cash.

-smirk."
reading this made me feel like a million bucks again man. haha!(:

`swirl me away
6:43 PM

alrights. no more town for me. i've been there for 3 consecutive days. went to get my dress on fri. yay! so everything's kinda settled. which is good, cos i'm abit sick of the whole thing. ooh tj's sdd falls on the same day as ours! okay random info.

was late on sat. argh i'm always late!! poor xiwei. haha. sorry dude! monster house was funny. the small girl is damn cute! she and her tricycle. haha. albeit childish and cartoon-ish, its an interesting show. i think that clowns are the saddest people on earth.

anyhoos, had an interesting time shopping at lido and taka(again!). hm. some people do have good taste. some. hurhur. that includes me okay! the Cyn brand being abit cheaper than the rest doesnt mean anything. really. okay this is dumb. haha!

dinner at pepper lunch with fel and karin. nicee. i hope to meet up again! it felt good to talk about things i normally cant really talk about. toni morrison is right. the telling matters, and i'm reminded of how glad i am to be me again. free. i think i almost suffocated to death. but no longer.

i realised something else too. i need to exorcise you from me. but i dont know how. really. i might have grew 15 years younger, but there's still this 5 years of ache. untold, unheard, and unaccounted for. ookay. now that sounded like Beloved. ha.

running at ecp and a good lit discussion tmr.

mann. two full days of walking around is taking its toil on me.

i love borders! haha.

its time to start studying again!

hahaha. i really hope i believed that. lol.

keep it to yourself. for now, at least. please.


-free.

`swirl me away
3:42 PM

`my swirls-*
Thursday, September 21

towning today with qixin was fun. we raided heeren and walked enough to last me for one month. haha. and i'm going back on sat. and hopefully dragging my mom to tangs studio to see this nice, preeetty dress. i want to get it. for sdd! mann. i hope nobody's gonna wear that same dress that night. there was this njc student trying it on in the fitting room too. sheesh.

i got my clutch! finally. i still think the price is abit steep, but well, i have my clutch. and such a pretty one too! andd i got a nice new top for myself. haha. yay yay yayness all around.(:

oh! i finally ate at the soup spoon! i love love lurrrved it. the smoked salmon was absolutely deli. smackers.((: i want to eat there again! haha. i get happy just thinking about it. oh yum!(:

ooh. sore feet. i hope i wont get blisters or sth. i still want to wear heels on sat!

its stay-at-home day tmr. two books from the library. how lovely. i shall finish reading them by tomorrow and i can return them when i go town on sat.

note to self: i cannot, shall not, WILL NOT indulge. promise.

taka reminds me of the embarrassing takopachi incident. which also reminds me that i miss band and all the flute lunches and outings. i wanna play in a band again!! sigh.

okay. i'm gonna go read now. time to indulge!




-free and lovin' it.

`swirl me away
10:37 PM

`my swirls-*
Friday, September 15

love thyself.

i cant understand people who cut themselves. cant. i dont see the reason why. it doesn't actually solve anything, does it. i mean, why wallow in self-pity? what happens to self love? i know that too much self love is bad, but one has got to have that little bit of self love to have lived this long and come this far in life, right? is this world such a sad place that you have to carve the miseries it inflicts upon you onto yourself? well. if you actually think about it and accept whatever life has for you and take it in stride, i think this world is quite a nice place after all, isnt it?

i really don't seem to comprehend at all.

i'm glad to announce that i've officially finish reading beloved. goodness. it has taken me a year and i really should have already finish reading it like, manymany months ago. but no matter. i love the book. well, as a storybook, in the least. i think toni morrison writes beautifully. its one of the most compelling novels i've ever read.

" There's nothing to rub now and no reason to. Nothing left to be bathe, assuming he even knows how. Will he do it in sections? First her face, then her hands, her thighs, her feet, her back? Ending with her exhusted breasts? And if he bathes her in sections, will the parts hold?"

"Cry and tell him things they only told each other: that time didnt stay put; that she called, but Howard and Buglar walked on down the railroad track and couldn't hear her; that Amy was scared to stay with her because her feet were ugly and her back looked so bad; that her ma'am had hurt her feelings and she couldn't find her hat anywhere."

compelling.

we are all growing up. its kinda scary to think so, but yea. we're all growing up. everyone's eighteen and soon we'll all be looking good during sdd and partying in DXO after that. then its hongkong time! and then, i'll well and truly be eighteen. cars and driving lessons and debit card. fingers crossed for uni and hopefully, a pup. heels and bags and estee lauder and dior and kose. (i want my lancome colour fever!! even if its only for the packaging. haha.) hopefully a change of warbrobe. *the implication: SHOPPING!((: haha. yes. we're all growing into young ladies. its a bit scary, huh. but still i feel the joy of being able to just revel in the joys of youth. its kinda exciting yet sad at the same time. but its okay! i think we'll all retain and bring with us a part, if not all, of our childish self. so ya! i cant wait for everything to happen.(:

but right now, its prelims. since everyone is complaining about it, i shant do so. life's a bitch at times. sigh.

nevermind! i still have thursday to look forward too! haha. three days of play! haha. then its time to hit the books again. mann. the life of a student.



-the self.

`swirl me away
11:27 PM

`my swirls-*
Saturday, September 9

termites!!

i'm traumatized. my toilet has got termites. omggggggg. i saw this little sand like thing at the corner and thought it was dirt and used tissue to wipe it. and lo and behold. i see manimani white small worms (at least, they look like it) shaking their bonbons at me. goodness. i'm really traumaized. anddd. they looked like rice. ackk. plus i cant go bathe now unless i want to intoxicate myself with insecticide. mann this is just not the time for such discoveries. prelims is two days away. okay. one, in 45 minute's time. how am i supposed to do math while worrying if my door's gonna drop off from its hinges any minute. and worrying about it everytime i see the toilet. HUR.

i feel like screaming. blogging is not working. i need someone to call me right now.



my dear dear qixin!! where are you?
):

`swirl me away
11:13 PM

`my swirls-*
Wednesday, September 6

yes i know i'm not supposed to be here but i'm still here.

i just took my weight cos well, i was there and the weighing scale was there, and guess what. i lost a kg! just like that! without doing anything!! except, maybe, studying. oh yay!!

okay. that's it man. i am from now wholely and totally devoted to studying. i love studying. absolute worship man, absolute worship. i love studying. cyn loves studying. yeps. right now i'm just gonna fail or hopefully get an E or a D for my chem and then get an A for the a.s. or rather, 4 As. oh yes. you just watch me. i'm so gonna do it.(:

yes. enough crapping. i dont wanna fail chem!!! so what on earth am i doing here. i should be mugging.

okay. going.

i lost a kg!!(:(:

alrights.


-we all live for the stars that once lit up the night skies.

`swirl me away
9:06 PM

`my swirls-*
Sunday, September 3

i've never realised that i've forgotten the many things which happened in tk, even in sec4. gosh. yes and chit yen really has a photographic memory. rarr so unfair. if only i had it. then maybe my grades will not be so ^%!$#!*&. haha. oh yes i was talking about the past incidents. somewhere inside the deep(shallow?) recesses of my limited memory i remember something about teletubbies. we were the teletubbies i rmb. or so i thought i remembered. the four talkative shorties sitting in front. lol. imad (used to be jon see but both are equally noisy.) and chelle and chit yen and i. haha.

talking about jon see. somehow back then everytime when i talk to either jon see and imad they'll somehow end up being scolded. even when its only me doing the talking. then the incredulous looks and the whispered "what sia's" they'll give me. HAHA. oh and those times we tried to swap places so i could sit with chelle. or vice versa. mrs chee's surprise when she comes into class to find cyn sitting with chelle, either at the 2nd row or the 1st, but sitting together nonetheless. haha. and mrs tan's look whenever she sees chelle going into one of her unladylike poses like propping her legs on the table or stuffing them in the space under the desk. then every morning, the "hi sherene"s and the "li juaaaan"s.

and YES chit yen i rmb u everyday kicking/pushing/tapping at the chair and going "thia thia thia." for my stapler. HAHA.

okay that's enough remembering for now. i've got papers to do. honestly i think doing papers makes you depressed. okay. for me, at least. argh. but nvm. it will get better. it MUST get better. hur. okay. BYE.


-chit yen is a horrible monster with a multi-coloured and detachable ass. lol.

`swirl me away
8:55 PM






cyn. 161288. victorian. vjc 05S43. vjcsb. tpjc (1st 3mths) 05S31. tksian. tkband. khs. flautist =)




all that i hold dear. besties(: and lovely lovely friends. family. shopping, reading, lazing around. sweet, pretty, striking colours. swirls. stripes. ice cream, chocolate, and the same few constants.


chelle. lijuaan. janice. yong qi. amelia. wenting. vincent. allena. meow. rach. kim. stef. andrew. qixin(= charissa. tracy. fujing. Junrong. jiening. xinyu. anna.

vjc 05S43-*.
atiqah. camillus. chiew shan. chin chong. darren. francis. janice. louisa. timothy.

image station. photobucket.

05/2005. 06/2005. 07/2005. 08/2005. 09/2005. 10/2005. 11/2005. 12/2005. 01/2006. 02/2006. 03/2006. 04/2006. 05/2006. 06/2006. 07/2006. 08/2006. 09/2006. 10/2006. 11/2006. 12/2006. 01/2007. 02/2007. 03/2007. 04/2007. 05/2007.

[Hugs-*]

angel candy.