My sweet charade.

`my swirls-*

Monday, August 14

nostalgia.

Nostalgia.

i ran at east coast park today. the 8km was unintentional, but it felt good. the breeze felt good. somewhere along the way i lost steam, so my attention began to wander.

as i ran, i saw my four years in tk.

the time i missed my very first first road run because there was some band event the next day.

the starting point. i remebered how lina and i conspired. she set the pace for me, and i was supposed to get some position for 2B. i remembered the exhilaration. all the way. running past people. the cheers. all the way. i remembered seeing mrs juliana goh with her walkie talkie. i still remember pieces of what she said and i knew how close i was. how close. until i heard footsteps behind me and saw yingzhen and weijing running side by side. then, the desperation. the resignation. so that was that. but we got our class championship anyway, and it was a band year. the band people ruled that road run and came out tops.(:

the next year. i had an aim and i thought i could do it. now that i think about it, it was stupid. but it was all thanks to you, i suppose. did you know, i ran for you? i suppose you didnt. but it doesnt matter anymore now, does it.
the turning point. i remember the people on bicycles. jon see cycling beside me cheering me on. so it was thanks you jonathan see. all the way he was there from a little before mid-way to the end. i saw sherene. i remembered being confused. but yes. all the way to the end. exhilaration.
the guys didnt do well, so 3C didnt win the class championship. but the girls won the team event though. sherene michelle and i. and someone else i cant remember.
then, at macdonald's. you and your half smile. three words -or was it two?- and that was that.

the final year. meow year. the guys ran first, then the girls. he was waiting for me i think. then we ran. the cheers and teases. i wasnt as fit and wanted to stop. we were about to and there was sherene. all year i had wondered if she didnt ran the wrong route would she have taken over my position? now i know. she's good. so that year i had second best. sherene chelle melissa lijuan and i were in top 50 and 4C won the girls team event thing. oh yes how can i forget mrs chee haha. i was thankful to meow. i still am. he got 16th position and he could have easily came in first. i remembered a tinge of saddness. but oh well! its okay. i've had all three, and not many people have that.(:

-

i see that my achievements is propertionate to the band outdoor comp years. the best was sec3, and that was after the 02 comp. ah i remember the sweet sweet victory. there was nothing left, nothing. we left them with nothing. i've never had such an emotional rollarcoaster ride before, with tears of saddness one instant, and the very next, tears of joy. i never actually believed one could cry tears of joy, but now i know better. the best drum major award before the best display band almost killed me. after that it was cry cry cry. tears and hugs and kisses. cymbals went clash clash clash. and pride. pure pride. i think i twirled the cymbals harder playing in front of the school than i did in the field. later, the band mass dance back in tk at the parade square. the standard of tk band might have dropped, but it was glory, glory, glorious back then.

band, then you. i still like the smell of strawberry fruit flavoured cookies.

-

i wanted to run back home from school, but i was afraid it would be too much for me. so i walked, and when i reached the playground i saw this couple from this certain school. i thought it was you, and to be honest, i secretly hoped it was you. that hunched shoulders. that arrogant swagger, like you know everything there is to this world (oh but you dont. really.) and as if the whole world belonged to you. ( which, btw, it doesnt.) i didnt have a chance at that particular concert, which was quite disappointing. i never got my chance to saunter up to you and say, cheers! i hope you've grown up. now look, and weep.

but i guess everyone lives for the future. so shall i.

till next time then. BYE.

`swirl me away
11:29 PM