revisit.
you're awake.
finally. after so long.
you create that little doll (with its tounge sticking out) for me,
the one which haunts me at night.
you create that little doll (with its tounge sticking out),
with the bells on its feet ringing.
ringing especially loud and clear.
you conjure up movies for me,
life in reels and reels of film.
you conjure up movies for me,
scenes stumbling and tumbling onto each other.
a bad production.
you cut pieces of acylic for me,
words in pieces.
you cut and pieces of acrylic for me,
buff them to perfection.
yet the words smudge, not believing their existence.
you paint me pictures,
art in cut outs.
you paint me pictures,
beautiful in gilded frames,
with no glass and no protection.
you grow me flowers,
big and red.
you grow me flowers
in the school garden,
which withered. and pricked.
you even fed me love letters,
fresh and crispy.
you even fed me love letters,
surfeit of it.
what can i say?
i'm sick.
my heart is suffering from indigestion.
i'm getting giddy.
ah, see.
the smoke clouds in.
the lovely..
*cough*
lovel..
*cough cough*
love
*gasp*
clouds of sweet smoke.
my lungs are choking.
i need to clear my mind.
this visit is over.
`swirl me away
12:27 AM
`my swirls-*
Saturday, January 21
its a beautiful day today. lovely lovely weather.(=
so i was taking advantage of this beautiful weather and walked home using the park connector, in a bid to lose the few calories i gained during lunch. ( penang kuay teow! and cookies from bakery depot =) i walked past this house and i saw three girls, most prob sisters, sitting on a swing in their backyard, talking to each other and just enjoing the moment. this brought back many many memories. sigh. and to think, my brother and i were the ones once sitting on a swing in our own backyard, talking and laughing with each other. actually, coming to think of it, i kinda miss the swing more then those moments with my brother. haha. really wonder what happened to the swing when we moved house.
anyhows, its starting to rain. i guess good weather don't last forever, eh?
-If I never knew you
If I never felt this love
I would have no inkling of
How precious life can be
And if I never held you
I would never have a clue
How at last I'd find in you
The missing part of me
In this world so full of fear
Full of rage and lies
I can see the truth so clear
In your eyes
So dry your eyes
And I'm so grateful to you
I'd have lived my whole life through
Lost forever
If I never knew you
`swirl me away
2:38 PM
`my swirls-*
Saturday, January 14
totally crap day.
- sometimes results from the play of totally random events might not give the correct impression/effect. like, totally eons and lightyears away from it.
- a gentle reminder. selfishness is the core of humanity.
- mistakes are not meant to be made twice. and for my case, the what? fifth time.
- there's a reason why i noticed this particular piece of candy, and why i look at this candy no longer.
- the affairs of the heart. you keep your heart to yourself. i'll do likewise.
-the crux of existence
`swirl me away
11:28 PM
`my swirls-*
Friday, January 13
however insignificant the change is, i've grown up. at least, i believe so. but you didn't want me to. its as simple as that. why do you not understand? are things really that complex?
yes, you both are best friends; yes, you think know him.
didn't we all?
you're utterly, downright despicable.
well, peace, cos i'm trying.
-
temper is really some thing. its hard to control and it so often slip out of my grasp. patience is another sneaky one. it hides away from me and i've only had it once every while.
but i guess it doesn't matter, does it?
- seething and boiling over.
`swirl me away
10:01 PM
`my swirls-*
Wednesday, January 11
there's so much i want to say but so little words to convey them with. so i'll just make do by giving the usual account of my day. so to those who are bored silly of reading the usual boring entires stuffed full with complains etc, you are warned.
i don't know why, but everytime daddy drives me to school in the morning, i'm sure to be late, regardless of whether i leave the house at 7.28am or 7.30am. wierd, isn't it. maybe its just a case of pure stubborness, and well, it takes one to know one.
but then again, maybe its because the clock downstairs is now on time. hmmm.
went parkway with mummy before band prac today. hoho. i think my mum is super uber cute.((: oh and i bought yet another new book. yay.(((:
today's sectional dinner is one that i'll never forget. (at least for now. haha.) it is my first time eating by the fountain in parkway after all. and i had hokkien mee. wahaha(:
its keeps raining on and off these few days. quite irritating. just got off the bus and was halfway home when it started pouring. and before i got my umbrella out ( thank goodness i brought it) i was like, drenched. grrr. and it spoiled my lovely sea regatta. boo. was looking forward to having more fun after cycling to the end of east coast, being dunked by charissa and zihua and dunking ms (mdm) rajan when it started pouring. freaking hell. walked all e way back to school barefooted in the rain, and cos the teachers were nagging, we has to return the bikes we borrow. argh. and we didn't need to return them till like 3 hours later. so we wasted our $6. *snarls* but anyhows, i had fun. haha. oh and O2'05 was sucky. geez.
there's sth freaking wrong with my mp3. when i turns it on, it continues to switch itself on and off. grrr. its freaking irritating the hell out of me. don't know what's it freaking irritating problem. bah.
try not to stereotype. for some things, its better to let them be.
okays. was feeling high just now, but now i'm drop dead tired.
i'm outta here. till next time!
- stand by me
`swirl me away
11:04 PM
`my swirls-*
Saturday, January 7
today's encounter was definately one of the most shocking, embarrassing and well, laughable.
did a little bit of soul searching. through snippets of my life, i watched the arrogant kid grow up into a much nicer ( i hope) girl. watched how seventeen years of life changed me, and changed others. friendships were forged, only to be broken again. i love(loved) and was- and still am- loved. its amazing, but after so much, i suddenly feel young. ah the wonder of youth.(:
i find that i am contented and happy where i am now. in terms of everything. okay maybe not my grades, but other than that, i'm totally at peace with the world. really. so maybe i need to be a bit more quiet and less noisy. but thats okay. i'll deal with it.
ah yes, i love my bestie. besties. my lovely lovely friends.
i really promise to be less noisy. being noisy has unexpected-and sometimes undesirable- consequences. ahas.
life is such a sneaky fella.
- the gossamer touch of time.
`swirl me away
9:38 PM
`my swirls-*
Thursday, January 5
absolutely lovely.
love actually.
my my.
lovely.
-all i want for christmas is you.
=D
... and you, and you, and youu.
`swirl me away
6:38 PM
`my swirls-*
Sunday, January 1
the beginnings of a new year
kiki and yogi against pepper. gosh, you insult my intelligence. but its okay. i comprehend and tolerate the intellectually challenged.
-happy 2006!(:
`swirl me away
6:50 PM
